Little Owls Preschool

After a lot of indecision and inner turmoil, I enrolled the boys in Anytown High School's Child Development Class Preschool. It is one hour per day, four days per week, for seven weeks. It probably doesn't sound extreme to most people, but I am stressing so much over this. I feel like I might as well just kick them out of the car on the side of the interstate.

I keep telling myself that it will be good for all of us, but I'm pretty sure I'm just going to be wracked with guilt. Kind of like how I blame all of Eli's inherent personality traits of willfulness and being a mama's boy on the fact that I didn't try to nurse him.....I just pumped and bottle fed him. It might seem irrational to some, but I'm pretty confident that I really messed up by not nurturing him the way a baby is meant to be nurtured, and I seriously regret my decision. (I honestly feel tremendous angst over this decision every single time I think about it even though he is now twenty-seven months old.) I really failed him, and I feel like garbage about that.

Anyway....enough of my issues and back to the subject at hand: preschool. I think that Ian will just adore preschool and won't be ready to leave when I pick him up. Eli, I believe, will behave as though he is being electrocuted every time I drop him off and by the fourth session I will be kindly, yet firmly, asked to just keep him at home. I feel like maybe I am rushing him to be comfortable with a school setting and being away from me, and there's a good chance that he's just too darn young to be there. I don't know. There are children much younger than him who go to daycare for longer periods of time, and guess what....there is NOTHING wrong with them. They are happy, normal, and thriving!

This decision also makes me feel like I am really lazy. I kind of feel like I'm taking the easy way out. I thought this would be a good opportunity for me to take care of some ordinary errands, the post office, dry cleaner, grocery store, without having to take the boys along with me. I know that sounds really lazy, but taking two young boys, who are both still in five-point-harness car seats and wearing coats (it's supposed to cool off soon) to do trivial tasks like buy a book of stamps is a total pain in the butt.

I still have a week before Little Owls starts, but I have a feeling that by the time it gets here I'm going to be so stressed over the decision to send them I will probably puke on the floor as soon as we walk into their classroom. But until then, just know that we will have our first school "year" this spring and be proud to know the Anderson Brothers will be a part of the Little Owls..........