Bunny Tales

We survived the first major holiday weekend of 2011! We forgot our camera at home, so we have no photographic evidence of the Easter festivities, but we have our memories. This was a VERY easy holiday for us this year. Usually it feels like we spend more time in the car driving to and from our many celebrations than we do at any one place. On Easter Sunday we only had TWO places to go. It was eggcellent!

The night before Easter we put the boys to bed at 7:30. They were exhausted from three days of too little sleep and a lot of excitement. This might seem pretty early, but that's their usual bedtime. Our boys wake up around 6:30 every morning no matter how late they went to bed the night before. Since we knew Easter Sunday would mean an extended Mass and a high powered day of visiting, we wanted the boys to be well rested. When I heard the boys stirring on Sunday morning I was SO excited to get them out of bed to see if the bunny had found us. I walked over to the dresser to look at my watch. I wanted to see if the boys had made it to 6:30 or if it was still closer to 6:00. Luckily, I was able to find a lovely picture that accurately represents the shock I felt when realized the time....

Holy cow! It's 7:40!!!!!!!

We had to be at church at 9:00, and we aren't exactly the speediest family even when there is no egg hunt or fabulous treats to be found and tried out. I barged into Ian's and Eli's room like the house was burning down and instantly started rambling like an idiot. I blame my incoherence on the noxious, dirty diaper atmosphere the boys had created during the night. I have no idea what I said, but I know the word "surprise" came out of my mouth. Ian looked up and said, "The surprise is......IT'S IAN'S BIRTHDAY!" Now that would have been a surprise because that isn't for another 3 months, but that would have explained the stench with which the boys had filled the room. Luckily, I really had only been sleeping a few hours, not months on end. We quickly defunked the boys, and gave them the skinny on the Bunny. Our niece, Sidney, soon appeared at the bottom of the stairs, and it was time to confirm the Bunny's late night visit.

The Bunny had found us at Grandma and Grandpa's and hid eggs throughout the house and baskets full (only because the baskets were small) of goodies. There were 37 eggs in total, so plenty to find for three kids under three. The first couple of finds for each kid was a learning experience, but it didn't take long for Ian to really hit his stride. Initially, he was just running around like a chicken with its head cut off and LOVING every minute of it. He quickly learned the game and was even more jazzed. Sidney isn't quite the morning person either of our boys are, so she was hunting eggs but at a much more relaxed pace. I'm pretty sure she was hoping to open and egg and have a bed fall out of it so she could go back to sleep. Eli was very concerned with discovering what was hidden inside the eggs. After he picked up an egg he instantly dropped to his heiny and cracked it open. A few eggs contained M&Ms, but most of them had number magnets inside. By the end of the hunt the egg count looked a little like this...

Eli - 2

Sidney - 6

Ian - 29

Then it was time to discover the baskets. The Easter Bunny kind of takes a "less is more" approach when he visits our house, which I love! I don't want the boys to ever think they need a ton of stuff. I want them to appreciate what they get and be thankful for those things. This year the bunny brought each of the boys a book, triangular crayons, and a spinning egg light. Ian also got the game Elefun, and Eli got a LeapTop.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Elefun, allow me to explain. A hard plastic elephant with a four foot collapsible trunk houses a small fan. The plastic elephant sits on the floor and holds 30 nylon butterflies within on the fan's surface. When the fan is turned on, the trunk expands outward and extends to the ceiling creating a wind tunnel. The nylon butterflies are then blown out of the end of the trunk and float gently towards the floor while children merrily catch the butterflies in their butterfly nets. This provides hours of entertainment assuming your are willing to collect the butterflies and deposit them back into the plastic elephant 9,000 times as it takes approximately 10 seconds to play one round of Elefun start to finish.

In all honesty, the constant refilling of the butterflies is totally worth it. Ian thinks the game is absolutely hysterical and laughs uncontrollably while running through the falling butterflies. He doesn't play with a net, I'm assuming because if he were to catch the butterflies he couldn't run through them, so what would be the point? Ian's joy of Elefun is contagious, and Eli cracks up watching Ian having such a good time. The Bunny did well.

After a couple of rounds of Elefun we rushed around to get ready for church and sped to town. Like a complete rookie parent, I stupidly told Ian we were going to sit with Nina and Papa at church. I never should have said such a thing because we were getting to church late enough that I knew seating would be limited. When we walked inside I scanned the crowd but couldn't find the Zimmerman family anywhere. I knew they were in there somewhere since I had just seen all of their cars outside, but decided to just look for them after church was over. There were TWO empty pews left in the whole place, and Ian was already demanding his Nina. I tried to quietly bustle our family to our seats and calm Ian at the same time. All I managed to do was find a seat DIRECTLY across the aisle from, you guessed it, NINA! Are you kidding me? Now he was never going to quit demanding Nina. I did a quick head count of their pew only to realize they had approximately 34 people crammed into it. Okay, maybe not 34, but they were definitely at maximum capacity, and Ian needed to stay with us. I'm not going to swear to this, but there is a distinct possibility that the rest of my family held their breaths for an hour and a half straight on Easter morning because there is no way they could have all fit in that pew if they had air in their lungs as well.

The only upside to our seating position was that we had settled right behind a family with twin boys who are in second grade. Both of our boys were swirling masses of plaid and limbs with the occasional "Nina" or "AAAhhhhh" emanating from the blurs. The mother of the boys turned around and said, "I know exactly what you're going through. We have twin boys too." and gave me a look that said "Solidarity, sister." I explained ours were just Irish twins, but I'm sure she still found me worthy of twin pity.

The next hour and twenty minutes crept by, and it wasn't pretty. We executed several kid swaps between Cole and myself whenever one of us was ready to drop a kid in the collection basket, shake his hand and wish him, "Good luck in all your future endeavors. I'm sure your next family will appreciate your energy. By the way, your college fund is in a non-transferable account so your new parents are going to have to foot the bill." I also found myself issuing the ultimate threat to Ian several times. That's right. In the house of our Lord, I threatened my son. Whenever Ian's demands for Nina became louder and more belligerent I would lean over and whisper to him, "Knock it off right now or I will clean out your nose!" He would instantly snap to attention and become nearly angelic. Of course this behavior wouldn't last long, and I would soon be in his ear again whispering about the horrors that would befall his shnozz if he didn't get it together.

I couldn't wait for communion when I could send Ian on his happy way across the aisle to Nina and enjoy a relaxing time during the final prayer of the Mass. I returned to the pew childless, and from across the aisle I could see Ian curled up on Nina's lap looking as pitiful as humanly possible. Eli realized Ian was missing. This did NOT make Eli happy. He started asking for Ian, and when I was unable to produce his brother, he was done with us and was ready to switch pews, too. Only instead of demanding Nina, Eli demanded Papa. Eli is Papa's boy! He is very attached to me, but if I'm not available, Papa is the person Eli wants. For the next ten minutes Eli stretched and flailed in every direction in a desperate attempt to break free from Cole's arms and find Papa.

As soon as church was over we let the boys run around a little bit while we small talked. Cole and I had several visits from parents who now have adult sons and offered compliments on our patience with the boys. Most of these parents also expressed their relief that those days have passed for them, but I'm sure there is also a part of them that misses the fun of having toddlers.

Ian invited himself to Nina's house, and Nina being Nina, of course jumped at the opportunity to have one-on-one time with Ian even though she had a busy morning ahead of her preparing for Easter dinner. Mom and Dad rarely get to visit with just the boys because every time we are home the whole family gets together to visit at their house. The Zimmermans aren't exactly quiet people and these visits are anything but calm and relaxing, and since Eli came along, they really haven't gotten much of a chance to visit with just Ian. I happily let Ian and his bad attitude climb into Nina's suburban and drive out of sight. I thought a little down time would be just the thing he needed before our busy afternoon, and I thought a little time with just Cole, Eli, and me would benefit the three of us as well.

I was right. When we picked up Ian a couple of hours later, he was sweet, calm, and very obedient. It was very refreshing, and I was very grateful that mom let him spend time at her house. Our first stop was Cole's Aunt Chris' house. Chris had everything set up in the garage, which sounds weird but the garage is immaculate, heated, and big enough for the kids to run around and play while remaining in sight of their parents. We enjoyed a great meal, and then we got the kids ready for an egg hunt. While the eggs were being hidden there was a significant amount of chaos from parents trying to shuffle around and hide eggs while the kids tried to immediately find them. For a while Ian was content to hang out with Cole's cousin Ashley. Eventually, he got bored and shimmied down from her hip to find something a little more exciting. The next thing I knew, Cole was in the bathroom washing Ian off in the sink. He had found a Butterfinger egg, and chewed it up, foil wrapper and all. Once he realized the foil was NOT food, he tried digging it back out of his mouth and wound up covered in chocolate.

After Ian was cleaned up, the egg hunt began. Each of the kids got to find 15 eggs. The kids ran around like their hair was on fire and 17 seconds later each basket had met its quota.....except for Eli's. Eli and I were on egg four. I ultimately dumped 11 more eggs into his basket while he tried to pry loose the candy within a single egg, and it was then a free for all to collect the remaining eggs. The kids then found their baskets full of all kinds of silly toys, punching balloons, and candy. The eight seekers then had their punching balloons inflated by their hyperventilating parents, and it was absolutely hysterical to see them running around punching their balloons and bouncing off one another. It was a great first stop.

Next we went to my Grandma and Grandpa Stanford's house. We were the last to arrive, as I knew we would be since we had an earlier stop, and the driveway was FULL! This was the first holiday in a long time that almost everyone was going to Grandma's. By the time we arrived, my future brother-in-law and one of my cousins had already left, but there were still 32 people there not including the four of us. There were another four family members who didn't make it at all.

Many of my cousins have started families of their own so their were several kids for Ian and Eli to play with. The afternoon slipped away quickly, as it always does, and soon my Grandma pulled me aside. Since it had been too wet to hunt Easter eggs outside she had set up several games in the basement for the older kids, but since Ian and Eli were still to young for the games she wanted to let them have a little egg hunt of their own in the basement. We sneaked down to the basement and hid the eggs filled with a little coin. Cole and I took Ian and Eli downstairs to find MORE EGGS! Ian was loving it. He picked up his first find and shook it. He had the most serious look on his face as he held the egg to his ear and listened. "I hear ten dollars!", he yelled and then squealed with excitement as he dumped his money on the couch to "count it". Eli was not into the egg hunt because it was after 4:00, and he hadn't napped a wink all day.

After the money was safely inside Cole's jeans' pocket we loaded up the boys, punching balloons and all, in the back of our super spacious (yeah right) Monte Carlo. I'm too cheap to get a "family" car so we will be driving this until the only way to get it to move is like the Flintstone's car. Cole and I were hopeful that the boys would sleep the entire two hour drive home. Wishful thinking. We made it an hour before they were both screaming their heads off. I tried giving them candy and toys from their Easter baskets and they were not interested. In a final act of desperation, I began reading a book to them. Some people outgrow motion sickness as they become an adult. I am NOT one of those people. With every word I uttered I got sicker and sicker. I was miserable, but at least the boys weren't screaming anymore. I had to take a few breaks from the story whenever my choices came down to: A) listen to the boys scream or B) puke all over myself and the dog, who always rides on my lap in the car. I repeatedly opted for "A" and let the boys break down into hysterics. By the time we pulled into the driveway I was as green as our plastic eggs and never wanted to read "The Case of the Cat's Meow" EVER again.

We got inside, fed the boys supper, buzzed Ian's hair (which is a story in itself), and put them to bed. Another action packed weekend and memory filled holiday. I can't imagine what the hunt will be like next year.

Weathering the Snorf

Cole left for Tucson for work on Monday morning. This means I have been flying solo this week. I definitely wasn't looking forward to this week, but the last time Cole was away for this long for work was when Ian was just a couple of months old so we're pretty lucky. Of course, one two month old is a much easier wrangling act than a 32 month old and a 16 month old. This week has been a true test of patience, and I am a VERY patient woman.

Monday, went by as easily as I could have possibly asked for. We had a nice relaxed morning, and the boys spent the afternoon as they do every Monday afternoon: at Keighan's house while I went to class. When I picked them up, "Mommy Ashley" (Ian's name for Ashley) said they had been well behaved so we buzzed over to Sonic for a Cherry Limeade. Eli fell asleep on the way home, and I decided to let Ian skip his daily nap. As the evening progressed, Ian began wearing down so we called it a night early. Overall, an uneventful day.

Yesterday was a little more difficult. The majority of the day was pretty easy, but in the early evening we started seeing all of the storm reports. We were right in the path of some NASTY storms. Around 7:00 the sirens let out their warning, and the Andersons took cover in the basement. We had ONE legit flashlight, one Thomas flashlight, and one Percy flashlight. I was really hoping we didn't lose power. For a few minutes the boys rode around in their wagon in the main room of the basement. Our entire basement is unfinished which makes the big room echo quite a lot. It was making Eli a little uncomfortable so I pulled the wagon into a smaller room that houses our treadmill. There was no way the boys could contain their little bodies once they saw the goods. They HAD to get on that treadmill! They hopped out of the wagon and began playing in the less echoey, much more well lit area of the basement. I turned on the 7 inch under-cabinet mount TV/DVD that is installed in front of the treadmill and watched our town become enveloped in a hot pink radar blob while the rain fell hard enough that I could no longer see the street light.

Ian and Eli were blissfully unaware that we might be well on our way to Munchkin Land, returning only after a visit with the Great and Powerful Oz, and I maintained that we were in the basement as a special treat. Gradually, Ian started to question what the heck was going on. I told him we were just havin' a storm, like it was no big deal, but I could tell he was skeptical. Eventually, the blob passed us and we were once again covered by a serene green blob. I told the boys it was time to go upstairs and start our bedtime routines when the power went out. Our basement was as black as a cave, and when I quickly turned on my flashlight, Ian and Eli resembled cave dwelling creatures. You know what I mean, eyes the size of dinner plates. I scooped up Eli and led Ian and Prissy (the dog) up the staircase to the rest of the house.

I actually really enjoyed putting Eli to bed last night. We have a routine. I always read several books to the boys then turn off the light and continue to rock quietly until they are completely relaxed. Then I have an entire dialogue I recite before kissing them a million times and laying them in their beds. We have done this since the day we brought Ian home from the hospital and I don't plan on changing until Ian turns to me while sitting on my lap in the rocking chair and says, "Mom, I'm sitting on my car keys. Can I please just go to bed?"

Well, last night I got to go through Eli's bedtime routine with Ian on my lap as well. I had to bring Ian with me since we didn't have electricity and I definitely wasn't going to leave him in the dark by himself. The boys sat side by side and never once kicked, hit, or pulled hair. They just sat sweetly and listened to story after story read by the light of a flashlight. I was in HEAVEN! Both of my snuggly little boys, cool as cucumbers, enjoying time with mom. If there had been a way to bottle the warm and fuzzy feeling I had sitting in that chair and sell it, Bill Gates would look like a pauper compared to me.

After Eli was down for the night, Ian and I headed into the living to call mom and dad to check on them. We turned the phone on speaker phone, and Ian got to tell his Nina all about the "snorf". "The snorf made it rain," according to Ian. Mom and I got a big kick out of his new word, and I was glad to hear they hadn't experienced the same line of snorfs. Or maybe it's "snorves." I don't know. I do know that they reported on the radio this morning that we had sustained winds of 56 mph, and our neighbors' Dogwood tree was pulled out by the roots and is now laying in their yard. Luckily, our trees just lost a bunch of sticks, not even limbs.

This brings us to today. Today started out well. When we woke up we had electricity. YAY! We scurried around this morning, and I told Ian he was going to meet a new friend today which absolutely thrilled him. Today, our possible summer nanny came to meet the boys. I have applied for a research opportunity in the U of I Department of Chemistry for the summer, and I do not want to send the boys to daycare. I think that having someone else as their primary caregiver will disrupt their lives enough, so I want to have someone who will come to our home and "be me" all summer. In my search for a nanny I found Amy. She is wonderful! She is a straight A student who has earned every award that U of I has to offer and is starting Vet school in the fall. She has values very similar to ours, and I knew she would be a perfect match for the boys the first time I met her. She is very active, loves to be outside, and has worked in farrowing houses for the past couple of summers so I know she can handle dirty diapers. If you saw Amy, a very petite blonde girl, you would never in a million years think she has worked on hog farms.

The boys instantly took to Amy. She had only been here a few minutes when Eli brought her a book and crawled up onto her lap. I knew right then that she was a perfect match. Eli is picky when it comes to who he will warm up to, where as Ian would run away with a stranger. The morning went wonderfully! Amy stuck around for a few hours and even ate lunch with us. She is very excited about possibly watching the boys for the summer, and so am I.

After Amy left the day went to crap. Although I was distracted at the time because Ian had just thrown a Mega Bloc directly at Eli's face, I think I caught a glimpse of a red tail coming out of his diaper. I was counting the seconds until nap time. Eli was MORE than happy to go read books and rock for his nap. I know he was tired, but I think most of the excitement was due to the fact that Ian would finally leave him alone and quit bullying him. Eli quickly fell asleep on my lap, and I really did not want to have to face Ian's terrible attitude again. But, I laid a slumbering Eli in his crib, and went to face Ian armed with a crucifix and holy water. Okay, maybe I wasn't armed, but I was definitely determined for him to take a nap.

He was completely exhausted, so naturally, he didn't sleep a wink. In less than an hour he was back in the living room, raising my blood pressure by the second. For the remainder of the afternoon Ian screamed, threw toys, yelled, kicked, hollered, slapped, and wailed like a banshee nonstop. Between Ian's atrocious behavior and Eli's constant screechings of pain and/or anger I was on the verge of screaming "SHUT UP!" and running down the street by the time I needed to fix dinner.

I made the boys a very quick supper of hot dogs and cheese because I couldn't muster the desire to make anything else. I was on the verge of insanity! I sat the boys at their places around the table and went back to the kitchen to prep some leftovers for myself. Then I heard the sweetest thing. "In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Bless us o Loooord, and these thy gifts......." and so it continued until Ian had given thanks for his pathetic meal prepared by his horribly frazzled mother. The sound of Ian praying, COMPLETELY unprompted by me, made my stress of the day absolutely disappear. It made me so happy to know that every night that we eventually give up and pray without him, he is still listening and learning from us. I praised him, possibly excessively, for showing his gratitude before he began to eat. I was in shock, but if there was ever a night for him to do such a thing, I was glad it was tonight. I think that I needed to hear that prayer more than God did.

I thought that we had turned a corner and were on the path to a smooth evening, but I was WRONG!!!! Apparently the meal only gave the boys more energy to be even bigger hellions. By 6:00 I was so desperate for some peace and quiet that I did something I very rarely do. I turned on "Race", Ian's Little People movie, and hoped for the best. Ian loves this movie and always watches it at Grandma and Grandpa Anderson's in lieu of napping. I'm not proud of letting the TV solve the problem, but after three days of parenting solo I just couldn't fight the fight any longer. I could tell that the majority of Ian's attitude problem was due to fatigue so at 6:45 pm I said enough was enough and put him to bed. I haven't heard a peep since.

Ross and Ian watching "Race" at Joe and Karen's

I'm not a drinker. The only time I ever drink is at wedding receptions, and I can count the number of times in my life that I have purchased alcohol to keep in my own refrigerator on literally one FINGER! But, I swear, today would have been time number two if Cole had been here after work. Instead, I put the boys to bed, typed my frustrations in silence, and got 70% of my daily recommended fiber intake by enjoying two Kellogg's Fiber Plus Antioxidants Chewy Bars.

Thank goodness Cole will be home tomorrow. I only have three Fiber Plus bars left in the cabinet.

People Let Me Tell Ya 'Bout My Best Friend

Saturday night after the boys were in bed, Cole had some exciting news for me. Sunday we were going to have a visit with Ian's very good friend, Bryan. Ian and Bryan always have a good time together, but unfortunately Bryan lives in Bloomington and they just don't get to see each other enough. But, you know how it is with a true friend, no matter how long it's been since you last saw each other, you just pick up right where you left off. Ian has already mastered this quality of ever lasting friendship at the old age of two.

While we were waiting for Bryan to arrive, I suggested we go to the library and pick out some new books to put into rotation. Ian and Eli both LOVE, L-O-V-E, LOVE to read. They are the biggest book worms, and when things are getting a little out of control around here the situation can usually be neutralized with a little story time. I adore reading to them, and I am so glad they enjoy it, too. The only problem is, I have every book in the house memorized and we have TONS of books. It becomes difficult to get excited about reading "The Ear Book" again when you already know the big plot twist is you can HEAR hands clap. The first time I read the book, I did NOT see this coming. I thought maybe you could see hands clap or feel hands clap but definitely not hear hands clap. The surprise ending turned the entire reading experience into a total thrill. By the 657th time I read the book, I was beginning to see a pattern and I knew that you could hear hands clap and the exhilaration of the discovery was gone. By the way, Ian can also recite this book start to finish.

We walked to the library since it was such nice weather, and it gave me a chance to enjoy the company of just Ian. Eli stayed behind to take a much needed nap. There are days when I find myself aching for one-on-one time with either of the boys, and Sunday was just what I needed. I proudly strolled my gorgeous little boy down the street in my SINGLE stroller. It was amazing to walk down the sidewalk and have all of the stroller wheels on concrete instead of needing to push Eli's side through someone's yard because he is lighter and will leave less noticeable ruts. It was so nice to be able to talk to Ian about something other than why he shouldn't be pulling Eli's hair or why he needs to keep his feet to himself. Someone please tell me why I thought having ONE child was ever difficult.

When we got to the library we wheeled straight to the kids section. Our library is small, but so are children's books, so even a small children's section can hold roughly 4,876,953 books. Of these 4 million + books approximately 80% were unceremoniously ripped from the shelves and cast aside by Ian, leaving me to follow in his wake, cleaning up the wreckage of Hurricane Ian.

About 10 minutes into our visit we heard the steam train coming down the tracks. Our town has an antique passenger train that runs on the weekends and the station is right by the library. Ian is so in tune with trains that he actually heard the engineer pull the line for the whistle and knew the train was on its way seconds before I was able to hear the actual whistle. Of course, we couldn't miss this! Ian took off to find a window and ran so fast he melted a path in the acrylic carpeting. It was like watching the roadrunner navigate through The Labyrinth only David Bowie never appeared. I followed his trail of smoke and found him helping himself to a spot on the radiator where he could admire the gleaming steam engine from the confines of the library. For the next FIFTEEN minutes we watched as passengers enjoyed photo-ops in front of the train and then reboarded. I suggested we return to the stacks and listen for the departing whistle since the train was going to wait FIFTEEN minutes before its next departure. Trust me, this did not go over well. Ultimately, we stood in the window until we could no longer see the clouds of steam leaving the locomotive's funnel. Only then was Ian emotionally prepared to find some new books to read.

Back in the stacks, Ian snuggled on my lap while I read books about every subject you can imagine. It came time to make our final selections and check out. Bryan was about to arrive at our house. Ian was having trouble focusing on making his decisions so I decided that perhaps it was too overwhelming and I should assist him. I decided to check out five books of varying genres. You don't want to read too many murder mysteries novels, or you will get paranoid. By that logic, you probably shouldn't read too many Max and Ruby books or you will begin to think you are in fact a rabbit. I didn't want Ian to simply being reading; I wanted him to be enriching his mind and made my selections accordingly. Here are the books, and their corresponding genres (in case you have trouble finding them in your own library), on our current reading list in case you would like to pick them up yourself.

Commerce

Criminal Justice

Animal Science

Engineering

Travel and Leisure

We proudly gathered our reading material and made our way back home. Again, enjoying the company of just one another.

When we got home Cole told us that Bryan was just a few miles away. I couldn't wait for Ian to see his good buddy once again. He hadn't gotten to spend time with Bryan since around the Holidays if memory serves. We waited outside for him because of course boys are going to want to play outside, and let's face it, who wants a mess in your house when it can be in your driveway. We were only outside a few minutes when Bryan pulled up to the house. YAY!!!!!!! Ian was squealing with excitement and jumping up and down. He ran over to greet his good buddy as soon as he was out of the car.

It didn't take any time at all for the two of them to reconnect and start having fun. There was a lot of action in the driveway. Firetrucks and police cars, bubbles and sidewalk chalk. It was AWESOME! Then it got even better. Bryan had brought Ian a gift. He had brought a sunflower plant. The seed was planted in the soil, but it hadn't begun to grow. Dirt? What an awesome gift. The plant needed to be watered, too. Playing in water? This gift just got even better! Since I have a black thumb, mainly by choice, I let Bryan show Ian how to water the sunflower seed while I stood by with a towel ready to dry off wet hands on the chilly afternoon.

He sprinkled the water on the soil exactly like he was supposed to. He held very still for awile and I thought he was admiring his handiwork. Then he looked up at Bryan and asked, "When is flower come up?" We told him it was going to take a few days, but Ian decided to take matters into his own hands. A few minutes later he picked a violet out of the yard, shoved it into the soil, and announced, "Look. My flower came up!" He was so proud. I can't imagine what he's going to think when we sees the sunflower in the pot.

Here are Ian and Bryan watering the flower.......

Ian and his good buddy, Bryan

What? Were you expecting another two year old? Hardly. Bryan is actually a very good friend of Cole's, but every time he comes to our house Ian high-jacks his attention and it more or less becomes a play date. Bryan recently submitted his thesis and was ready to spend a weekend doing things he hasn't had time to do for the last several months so he came to see us. Eli woke up about 45 minutes after Bryan arrived and was itching to get in on the outside fun. As you can see, we had a great day.

After a little bit we had to go inside because it was beginning to sprinkle. Ian did not like this at all, but he found a way to enjoy the great indoors as well. He requested that Bryan read our new library book, "Farting Dog", to him while I made supper. Aunt Whitney introduced us to Walter the Farting Dog. The Walter books are actually a series, and Ian thinks Walter is great. When I saw that Walter had recently been on a cruise, I HAD to know what capers Walter experienced at sea. And what cruise line did Walter recommend, Carnival, Norwegian, Royal Caribbean?

Dinner was quickly prepared and the boys seated at the table. Cole and Bryan told the boys good-bye and headed out to the Mexican restaurant. Ian was devastated. He bawled his little eyes out for "Byron." It was sad; I knew how bummed he was. He was gloomy for the rest of the evening. When Cole returned without Bryan he was even sadder. Part of the emotions were due to skipping his nap, but most of it was just pure disappointment over a play date that ended too soon.

On a happier note, Monday will bring our weekly play date with the boys' friend and my god-daughter, Keighan, and Ian LOVES to go to Keighan's. They fight like cats and dogs, which I'm confident is due to the fact they are only a couple of months apart in age, (oddly, Ian was born four days after Keighan's mom's birthday and Keighan was born four days after mine.), but he always has a great time.

And that's how we handle our lives, one play date at a time.

Fibs, Smashed Toes, Busted Heads, and 17 Minutes of Running

Ah, Saturday. The day you finally get to sleep late, relax around the house, and recover from the long week that has just passed. Ha! You must not have kids if that's how your Saturday goes. It's been 2 years, 8 months, and 11 days since I had a Saturday like that, but who's counting? Personally, I wouldn't mind if we went 90 mph all day on Saturdays as long as we could sleep past 7:00 a.m. Heck, I would take sleeping past 6:45 a.m, but Ian and Eli would NEVER stand for that. That would mean wasting valuable time that could be spent dragging out toys and tormenting each other. Tisk, tisk for even thinking such an absurd thought.

This morning started like every Saturday at the Anderson house: bright and early. EVERY morning Ian is the first to wake up and he promptly begins sending his cryptic bird-like calls under the door and down the hall to Eli's room. Eli quickly snaps to attention and begins responding with vigor. While I'm not a linguist, I have studied the battle cries of the Anderson children long enough that I'm quite confident in my ability to translate their primitive conversations. This morning's conversation went like this....

Ian: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAhhh. OOooooohhhhh. (Hey, Eli, get up.)

Eli: EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! AAAh. (I'm up, Captain. What are we going to do today?)

Ian: OOOOOOOOoooooooooooohhhh EEEEeeee. AAAAHHHHHHH. AH. AH (I'm not sure. Mom is leaving us with dad this afternoon so we should see what we can get away with.)

Eli: OOOhhhhh. AAAaaa. (I think we should drag ALL of the toys into the living room and then refuse to play with any of them. Later, we should sneak a chocolate chip cookie.)

Ian: AAAAAhhhhhhhhhh. EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! (Awesome. Let's also dump everything out of the fridge.)

Once the plan for the day was in place, Ian gently let me know he was ready to get up by sweetly saying, "Mommy, get up." until I got out of bed and opened his bedroom door. Generally I am able to crawl back in bed before he is off the floor and out of his bedroom. Watching him walk around the corner into our bedroom is probably my favorite part of the day. He is ALWAYS happy first thing in the morning. He will come over to my side of the bed and give me a kiss and say the cutest things while we talk about if he had a good night's sleep and what he would like to have for breakfast. I truly adore our morning routine.

This morning my handsome little boy turned the corner with sparkling blue eyes, golden blonde hair, and a gleaming smile. He came over to give me my kiss, and when I reached out to give him his morning hug he was soaking wet. I instantly recoiled. I love Ian, but I hate how the kid can saturate a diaper. I said, "Oh, Ian. You're all wet." Cole then said to me, "How can someone pee so much?" I have been wondering the same thing since we brought Ian home. I guess Ian thought the question was directed at him because he promptly responded in the most serious tone, "No, no, no. It's raindrops from outside." I have no idea why he felt he needed to come up with an excuse for the wet jammies, and I don't know why he decided to blame it on the rain. Maybe he had been listening to Milli Vanilli. I mean, if those guys don't know what they're talking about, who does?

The morning went by in the blink of an eye, as always, and soon it was time for me to get ready to leave for the afternoon as Ian and Eli had already discussed. As I was finishing preparing to leave the house, Ian was hanging out in the bedroom with me, and he had The Retro Rocket. The Retro Rocket was Eli's birthday gift from my parents. It is made by Radio Flyer, and it is beyond adorable. It is also Eli's main form of transportation throughout the house. He rides it EVERYWHERE thanks to the fact that we have hardwood floors throughout our entire house. When Ian finally gets a turn on The Retro Rocket (don't feel bad for him, he has a Cat dump truck to ride) he usually likes to ride in private so Eli won't try to take it back. That is exactly why he was hanging out with me this morning.

Just as I was going to put my shoes on, he dropped the rocket on his foot and went nuts. I knew it was serious because he instantly had tears. Also, he started slobbering a bit, and it was a VERY odd color. First things first, the foot that I know is legitimately hurting. I went to rescue him and as he hobbled toward me for that magic only a mom can do, I felt so sorry for the little guy. All he wanted to do was enjoy the toy he had pilfered from his brother, and look what happened. I scooped him up and he asked me to "fix it". I promptly kissed his foot, and immediately he said, "NO! This one hurts!" I looked down again and saw that he had smashed his big toe and it was bleeding from under the end of the nail.

I have been puked on, peed on, and pooped on, and while all of those things are really disgusting, they don't invoke a physical reaction. Blood is another story. Specifically, my boys' blood but nobody else's. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but when I see either of my boys bleed my stomach instantly drops to my feet. I feel totally weak, light headed, my heart races, my body temperature reaches 135, and the individual blood drops multiply in my mind to pints. But, I remain calm for the sake of my children. Or maybe I temporarily black out and when I come to I just think I remained calm. It could be either scenario really.

I hollered for Cole to bring a wet wash cloth and sat comforting my little Ian boy until we could see how bad it really was. Initially, I was pretty sure the toe was going to fall off, but as it turned out it never even bled enough to drip onto the floor. Thank goodness I stayed calm. We applied "Boo-Boo Bear" to the almost-severed toe, and Ian quickly calmed down. He was so brave, so strong, so......slobbery. What the heck was all over my shirt? This is when I revisited the oddly colored drool. As it turns out, Ian had swiped the remainder of Eli's chocolate chip cookie from the kitchen table and was trying to devour it undetected when The Retro Rocket maimed his little foot. Cole thought it was karma. Steal a cookie, smash your toe. He might be onto something.

I was gone for most of the afternoon, and I when I got back home Eli was ridiculously excited to see me. Yay! I jumped right back into the swing of motherhood, and the evening went by fairly smoothly. After supper our hardwood floors, which are Eli's favorite home feature when riding The Retro Rocket, became Eli's worst enemy. He was walking from one room to the other and slipped on the hem of his pant leg. He fell back and hit his head on the corner of our plaster walls. He let out the most horrible screech of pain I have ever heard. I picked him up as fast as I possibly could, and he was actually writhing in pain from head to toe. It was heart breaking. He didn't want the normal "super cuddle" that usually cures any owwie a child can incur, and try as I might, I couldn't figure out how to make it better.

I sat down and started running my hands through his hair to see where he had hit his head. He instantly let out another terrible scream, and I knew exactly where he had hit the wall. He had a gigantic goose egg, scratch that DINOSAUR egg on his head. But worse than that, there was blood. Two bleeders in one day! How is that possible? I had my standard adverse reaction to the sight of Anderson Baby blood, but who cared how I felt; look at Eli! I can't imagine how badly his head had to hurt. You could see the pain on his tiny little face. I think I could have submitted a picture to Excedrin's advertising department, and they could have made a killer ad campaign. They could run a commercial that said, "When you have a migraine, do you feel like this?" then they would flash a picture of Eli's pitiful face. Consumers would think, "I have never felt that bad. But, if Excedrin can get rid of that pain, it can definitely get rid of this migraine I've had for the past three days that has left me secluded in a pitch black room, vomiting in a bucket every two to three hours while wearing ear plugs because the sound of my own breathing is enough to split my head wide open." Then they would rush right out and buy Excedrin. Eli recovered amazingly fast considering the trauma, but we easily decided NO hair washing tonight, and probably not tomorrow night either. I mean, this was BAD.

As the night wound down, Ian wound up. We have a big living room that is about 20 feet wide. It's big enough that we have two seating areas. One of Ian's favorite games is "Run to That Chair". This game sounds simple, but is actually very complex. A parent must sit on the couch and yell with incredible enthusiasm "Run to that chair, now run to that chair" over and over again while the child runs from one end of the room to the other throwing himself into available chairs to ensure he doesn't run completely through the wall leaving a child-shaped hole. Tonight I happened to make a mental note of when this game began. 7:09 p.m.

Ian has incredible energy, as do all two year old boys, but his is always at its finest at bedtime. The game went on, and on, and on, and on....... Eventually, I got tired of being the referee and quit giving the appropriate directions to keep the game flowing smoothly. Ian promptly reminded me of my duties and once again I was shouting out the rules of the game. You can imagine what chaos ensues when someone is not carefully directing the participants. It just gets down right dangerous.

The game continued until I announced it was time to start the bedtime routine. This was at 7:26 p.m. Yes, 7:26 p.m. That is 17 minutes of non-stop running. Cole and I kept discussing how long the game was going on. We were in shock! I even suggested that Ian and me team up and do a tag-team 10k on April 30th while Cole runs the half-marathon. If I thought he would remain on the course, I would totally let him take my place. (As it turns out, I hate running, and I will be SO glad when this race is over.)

All of this added up to a great day in the end. It had all the elements that could potentially ruin a day: head trauma, wounded toe, adverse reactions to blood, a lie (even though it was a funny one), and too much running from three members of the family (almost 2 hours combined), but we are all still alive and well. Basically, it was just a typical Saturday.

Ian Says the Darnedest Things

From the very beginning, I have been SO excited every time Ian has hit a major milestone, and the great thing is I have been just as excited every time Eli hit those same milestones. It seems as though most of the physical milestones are a thing of the past.

Rolling over? Check!

Sitting up? Check!

Walking? Check!

Climbing every piece of furniture in the house? Check!

So, now Cole and I are enjoying all of the cognitive, verbal, and social developments the boys are going through. Eli has a fantastic vocabulary. Not to brag, okay to brag a little, our pediatrician was VERY impressed with Eli's 15-20 word vocabulary at his 15 month well-baby check up. Not only could I recognize the words, but so could the doctor. At 15 months most babies have a vocabulary of 5 words. She was also very impressed with his ability to follow simples commands such as, "Pick up the book, and bring the book to mommy." He is also learning how to tease me by pretending to be asleep and then "waking up" and scaring me. He could do this for hours, unfortunately I can only play this game for several minutes. My favorite Eli game is when he walks over and asks for "More kickles" (tickles). I can't believe how well he can communicate and how he is clearly maturing in his social interactions as well. I think he might be smart enough to skip kindergarten and go straight to MIT. I wonder if MIT has a minimum age for admission? Hmmm.......I should probably check on that.

Anyway, Ian was always very ahead of the game when it came to vocabulary as well, and nothing has changed. It seems as though his language skills advance in spurts. Over the course of a week or two we will go from point A to G, but then it will take three months to go from G to H. I know this is normal, but it makes the rapid advances in his development seem that much more incredible. Here lately he has been hilarious. He says things that are so off the wall, that I just laugh at him, and he LOVES to make me laugh. Which brings me to the heart and soul of this entry.

On Wednesdays Cole takes an extended lunch hour (thank you Caterpillar for flexible office hour policies and PhD's who never adjusted to the normal 9-5 work day) so he can watch the boys while I go study the fabulous world of Organic Chemistry for two hours. Last Wednesday was kind of brisk so Cole was taking the boys to The Orpheum Children's Museum in Champaign. I love the hands-on activities The Orpheum has to offer, so much so that we are MEMBERS of the museum. The Orpheum is mainly indoors, but there is a courtyard, too, that just opened for the spring/summer season. Now the boys had the best of both worlds, they could play outside and duck in to warm up every now and then.

I also love The Orpheum because it gives the boys a chance to socialize with LOTS of different kids. Eli usually wants to be right in the middle of the chaos, and preferably the cause of said chaos, but Ian usually hangs back and kind of does things on his own. Every time we go, I talk to Ian about trying to make a new friend while we are there. He rarely ever acknowledges my pep talks with little more than a half-hearted "Yeah" or "Okay", so I was very surprised when he brought it up first during the drive to the museum.

From the backseat of the car, I heard Ian say, "Ian make a new friend at Children's Museum." I was so impressed I more or else squealed with excitement. He had been listening during all of those talks! Now it was my turn to keep the conversation going and possibly ask a question that would make him think a little bit before answering. I responded, "Oooohhh. That sounds like a great idea, Ian!!! Are you going to make friends with a boy or a girl?" I had done all of the important things child development experts encourage Superparents to do.

1. Reacted with enthusiasm

2. Praised him for following a suggestion I had made in the past

3. Furthered the conversation

4. Asked an open-ended question

5. Waited patiently for a one word answer

Only, I did not get a one word answer. I got a well thought out answer with stipulations. I was NOT prepared for the response he gave. I don't even know where he came up with an answer like this. Just to refresh your memory, I had asked if he would make friends with a boy or girl. He answered, "A girl. A girl who likes my haircut!"

WHAT?????? My two year old is already trying to impress the ladies? What is going on? I was caught so off guard I was temporarily speechless, which is really saying something for me. I glanced back at him in the mirror, and there he sat looking like he had just said, "The sky is blue." I started laughing, which in turn made him laugh. I laughed quite a bit, and lovingly informed him that he is a mess, which is exactly how I want him to be.

I am so impressed by how his brain works. This was clearly something he had to think of on his own. Cole and I don't talk like this except for every six weeks when I walk in covered with hair and Cole happily compliments me on the same haircut I have had for the past nine years. Other than beauty shop day, there is NO haircut talk at our house. I'm surrounded by males! It's not something they discuss.

I'm not sure when Ian quit being a baby and became a little boy, but the transition is definitely in full swing. His social and language skills are developing SO fast it's overwhelming. He has opinions, ideas, a very long and thorough memory, and an INCREDIBLE imagination. Cole and I try to do everything we can to help the boys' development stay on, if not ahead of, the curve. We read a TON of books to both boys each and every day. We make Ian speak in complete sentences before we respond to his requests. By that I mean, we coach him to say, "Mommy, can I have more milk, please?" rather than shoving a sippy cup in our faces and demanding "More!". Ian also has his basic preschool math workbooks in which he completes his "actibities", and he also has a collection of flash cards. He's still young for the workbooks and flash cards so some days are a success and other days are.......well, definitely not a success. Plus, we did baby sign language which is proven to give your children a HUGE head start in their communication skills, and as an added benefit it eliminates many tense moments between an angry baby and frustrated parent.

I would love to be able to take full credit for the maturing minds of my little baby geniuses. I mean, I grew them in my body, right? Well, I can't. I can show them every flash card, workbook, building block on Earth, but I can't make the boys "get it." Ultimately, I know that we were given two inherently bright children, and I am thankful for such a great blessing every single day. When it comes to my boys, I think my dad says it best: "Dani, you guys hit genetic gold."

16 Months and 4 Days

WARNING: SAPPY MOM ALERT!!!!!!

Today is April 13th which means today Eli is 16 months and 4 days old. Kind of an odd age to celebrate, right? Well, for me this is a big deal. The day Eli was born, Ian was 16 months and 4 days old which means today Ian's life has been 100% longer than Eli's. I think this is awesome because starting tomorrow, the majority Cole's and my parenting career will consist of caring for TWO children, not one.

When I found out I was pregnant with Ian, I was TERRIFIED!!!! All I could think was, "I'm not old enough to be a mom!" In reality I was 25, a.k.a. not too young. On paper Cole and I looked like the perfect people to become parents. We were happily married for over a year, healthy, financially stable, and we had GREAT health insurance. Cole was the parent who had that beautiful pregnancy glow. He was SOOOOOOOOOOOO pumped to be having a baby. I looked like I could vomit at any minute, and that wasn't because of the routine morning sickness. It was fear that I wouldn't know how to take care of my own baby. Nine months went by in the blink of an eye, and Ian was born. He was the most perfect baby I had ever seen, and I was overwhelmed (to say the least) that I was now responsible for this beautiful boy for the rest of my life. But, I was completely in love with everything about him, and I desperately wanted to be the best mother in the world because he deserved the best! The day we left the hospital I burst into tears as soon as the car pulled onto University Ave. Cole was confused by my sudden lack of composure. He calmly asked what was wrong, and between uncontrollable sobs I eventually blurted out, "We have to take care of him..........BY OURSELVES!!!!!", and then dissolved even further into my intense blubbering. Cole just laughed and said, "Danielle, a lot less competent people than us have had children, and they've survived. We can do this."

Well, what do you know, Cole was right. Within days I was feeling pretty confident in my ability to care for Ian, and by the time he was 3 weeks old, I was a pro. I couldn't believe that I had EVER thought it wasn't the "right time" to have a baby. He was perfect, and my heart belonged to him. No other baby even compared to mine! He was so adorable, lovable, happy, smart (yes, I had never seen another 3 week old who was as brilliant as Ian), etc., etc., etc.

Initially, I thought I would be content with one child. As most of you know, I didn't have the most enjoyable pregnancy. I know what you are thinking, "What is she talking about? Who wouldn't want to be injected in the stomach daily with anticoagulants that burned like fire 276 days in a row? I'm going to ask my doctor to prescribe them just for kicks!" Also, complications from a Protein S deficiency, my deficiency that required anticoagulant injections, can result in some pretty terrible birth defects like blindness, mental retardation to varying degress, the inability to hear. Here I was, with a VERY healthy little boy with absolutely NO health problems....not even ear infections. Did I really want to risk having a child with health problems? Eventually, Cole and I decided we did not want Ian to be an only child. We thought he deserved to have a sibling.

So, one April morning in 2009, I was absolutely giddy. I was going to have another baby! As Cole was leaving for work, I said, "Is it too early to drop a bomb on you?" He responded, "What is it?" I could hardly contain my excitement, and said, "You're going to be a dad again!" Cole looked like Frankenstein had just run through the living room while wearing a pink tutu, and said "You're $#!%%ing me?" I had to laugh, boy had the tables turned. His shock quickly wore off, and he was once again walking around with that same glow he had when I was expecting Ian.

Eli's pregnancy was filled with more "excitement" that Ian's. Initially, my doctor didn't think I would be able to carry Eli through the first trimester because by five weeks my body still was not producing the required hormones. With my low hormone levels, the majority of doctors would have let me miscarry, but my wonderful doctor decided to try to "save" the pregnancy, and I am so, so, so grateful that she did. I won't get into how she "saved" the pregnancy, because it still grosses me out. I was ecstatic the day that I began my second trimester and still had my little Eli thriving in my belly!

Then, there was the time I shocked the $#!% out of myself on an old microwave that had been left behind in the house we bought. We were painting the house and hadn't begun to move in. I was taping off the backsplash in the kitchen and grounded myself while touching the microwave. That was intense. I had electrical burns around my wrist from my metal watch and on the back of my hand where I had grounded myself. I can honestly say I have never had a phone call returned as quickly as that frantic I-just-shocked-the-ever-living-hell-out-of-myself-and-I'm-four-months-pregnant call to the on-call OB/GYN!

Oh, and then there was the night I went into labor 5 weeks early. Talk about scary! I had to be in the labor/delivery room by myself because Ian hadn't had both of his swine flu shots and Carle would NOT budge on their policy which is good. (That's right, I still call it swine flu and I don't care) I was still taking my anticoagulant injections since I wasn't supposed to have a baby for another FIVE weeks, so the nurses were scurrying around setting up blood transfusions for me and the baby. This is when I called Cole in the waiting room with the calmness of someone getting ready to jump out of a plane sans parachute and demanded he find someone to watch Ian and get his butt to my room! So, it was Uncle Ross to the rescue! Ian now had Uncle Ross to watch him and Cole joined me in the maternity ward. My wonderful in-laws arrived that evening to help out as well. Sadly, my parents were at a visitation for my great-grandma (as we were supposed to be) and were attending her funeral the following day (as we were supposed to be) so we were only in phone contact. Ultimately, my labor stopped, and I was free to go home. YAY!

After that, things were back to normal and Eli was born fully prepared for the world. He was PERFECT from head to toe and stole my heart at first sight. Once again we had a VERY healthy little boy with the most unique feature I have ever seen. Eli has a row of indentions down the back of each ear which are the remains of his gills from the very early weeks of gestation. It's uncommon but strictly cosmetic, and I find them to be the most charming, endearing, adorable marks in the world. The only people who will ever see them, are the kids who will sit behind him in class once he starts school and his hairdresser. It will definitely be an ice breaker. :)

After Eli was born, Cole and I decided our family was complete. We had two healthy boys and after the oddities of my pregnancy with Eli, the thought of doing it all again had me terrified. Not to mention 550+ anticoagulant injections is enough for my lifetime.

So, where is this story going? Nowhere really. I just can't believe that we have two healthy, lovable, smart, polite, funny, curious, perfect little boys. The first few months as a mother of two were HARD. Eli cried 7-8 hours a day, everyday until he was 4 1/2 months old. At first I thought I was an absolute lunatic having the boys so close together, but now I wouldn't have it any other way. They are such good friends, and it's great to see their personalities developing in rapid succession so I don't have to strain to remember, "What was Ian like at this age?" Of course, they are definitely double-trouble and are quickly mastering the art of scheming against mom, but that's what siblings are for. I am so glad that tomorrow I will be the mom of two longer than I was the mom of one. To me this is a major milestone.

Being a mom makes me happier than I ever thought possible. The only thing I dislike about having kids is how incredibly quickly the time passes. Now, I find it comical that I thought it was a "bad time" to start a family when I got pregnant with Ian. Then, I wanted to go back to school and start a new career before I had kids. Now, I LOVE that we are in the position that I can be a stay-at-home-mom while going back to school, and once the boys are in school, I will be ready to go back to work. I really do have it all! Three and a half years ago I was being so selfish, that I couldn't open my mind for one second to realize that maybe The Rolling Stones were right......"You can't always get what you want, but sometimes you just might find, you get what you need."

Eggcellent Afternoon Ends When Mom Cracks Under Pressure

I LOVE holidays. I love them all, but I especially love the big ones: Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, Fourth of July, Mother's Day, and Mole Day (look it up). Christmas is by far my favorite of the big holidays, and I really get pumped for Christmas. This past year I was rocking out to my Nat King Cole, "The Christmas Song" CD before Thanksgiving had even arrived, and let me tell you "rocking out" to Nat King Cole is not something a Christmas Enthusiast could do, it takes a seasoned Yuletide Warrior! I also had one Christmas tree fully decorated before Thanksgiving, again something I do not recommend to amateur Christmas Revellers as you could become overwhelmed by the fast approaching holiday and start "Scrooge-ing." For those of you who are thinking, "Danielle is so wise. I'm going to decorate early this year," consider yourself warned. You need multiple Epic Christmases under your belt and a healthy infusion of Bruce Springsteen's version of "Merry Christmas, Baby" (my FAVORITE secular Christmas song) before you can begin the holiday season early.

I had Ian sooooo pumped up for Christmas, or as he says it, "Goofus", as well. It was awesome. Our house was teeming with Christmas Cheer. All we talked about was Christmas, all we did was get ready for Christmas, and all I dreamed about was sugarplums. By the time Christmas Day arrived we had FOUR fully decorated Christmas throughout the house, three full nativity scenes, garland draped along anything stationary, stockings on all of the bedroom doors, wreaths on the exterior doors, jingle bells on the door knobs, etc., etc., etc. I had somehow shoved approximately three Hobby Lobby stockrooms into our 1388 square foot house. And, in the end, we had the best Anderson Christmas yet! It's so much more fun with the boys, especially now that they are getting to the point of understanding things like this.

What does this have to do with the "Eggcellent Afternoon"? Well, this past weekend I wanted to begin pumping ourselves up for Easter, the most important of Christian holidays. When I first started thinking about creating our own gaggle of Easter eggs, I had these grand visions of how egg decorating would go. Take a moment to engross yourself in my vision. Cue the 1950's sitcom music...........

(This vision is brought to you in black and white) There I was, in a dress, full make-up, and heels protected by a floral apron sinched tightly around my delicate 24 inch waist. Hey, I said this was a vision, not reality. Alright, back to the vision. I open the back door and call, "Boys, it's time to decorate the eggs. Are you ready?" Ian responds, "Yes, mother. We're coming!" Into the kitchen dash my two adorable boys, not a hair out of place on their perfectly groomed little heads. Both are wearing freshly pressed short sleeved, button down shirts tucked into their khaki shorts held up by their little black leather belts. Oh, how adorable. They've been outside playing with our golden retriever, "Lucky", while Cole gazes at them adoringly and reads the paper. Cole might have been smoking a pipe. I'm not entirely sure as I could not see him behind the trellis of the gorgeous flower garden I have cultivated in my spare time. Anyway, Ian and Eli both climb onto their respective step stools, and there we stand, dying the eggs every beautiful color under the sun, creating gorgeous patterns that would make Martha Stewart green with envy. Nobody spills a drop of dye anywhere in the kitchen and definitely not on their clothes. Eventually, we have colored all of the eggs and the result is a display worthy of the cover of "House Beautiful." I kiss each boy on his rosy little cheek and send them off to have more fun outside while I giddily clean the kitchen because life does not get better than having the distinct privilege of cleaning a kitchen.

SLAP!!!! Back to reality and full-blown technicolor, you!

Now that you have experienced the vision, you want to know how it really went, don't you? Well, it went about as well as decorating eggs with two small children possibly could. We started by going to Hobby Lobby to buy the eggs and all the fixin's. After a very extensive and thorough 2 minute Google search, I decided on buying plastic eggs and decorating them with googly eyes, felt, and pom poms to make an entire barnyard of animals. Keep in mind, that at this point I'm still more or less living the vision only with plastic eggs and therefore no egg dye which is close enough to still have a swell 1950's afternoon.

At Hobby Lobby we had great success. Not only did we find everything we needed to create barnyard masterpieces, we also found stickers that would allow us to create pirate eggs as Ian's favorite show right now is, "Jake and the Neverland Pirates". "Oh, this is going to be fabulous!", I'm still thinking.

When we got home I couldn't wait to set up our little assembly line. I had everything ready to go in the living room on the boys' little picnic table. I divided the eggs by size because what 16 month-old doesn't get irritated when different sized eggs are in the same bowl? Next, I began opening all of the eggcessories. At this point I had to take "before" pictures. I wanted to have a digital record of the incredible transformation these eggs were about to undergo.

The eggs in their humble beginnings

The wonderful eggcessories

The chaos started off slowly. The eggs began intermingling with eggs of other sizes. Why in the world does this matter? I don't know, but on Saturday afternoon it did and if I'm being totally honest, it would matter to me on any day at any time. But, instead of continuously sorting the eggs into their "proper" bowls, I only sorted maybe 17 times and then gave up. It was during one of these sorts that I realized Eli was eating the pom poms. Part of me is very disturbed by a child who will eat pom poms but gags on strawberries. The other part of me has already raised Ian through this stage, but was no less surprised to see Ian eating them as well.

This is the point where things became a little crazy. While I was digging the soaking wet pom poms out of Eli's frighteningly sharp teeth, I fell under a googly eye attack. I was hit once, twice, three times. The hits were becoming closer together and each new hit was delivered with more gusto than the previous. I quickly extracted my shredded finger from my little Eli-gator's mouth and turned to see Ian. He had the entire bag of googly eyes and was swinging them wildly with no regard for the safety of any Anderson family member. He had that crazy, "I'm two-years-old" look in his eye, and I had to act fast or risk being pummeled by the remaining googly eyes. I lunged, and he was quick to react, but I was quicker. As I grabbed his small yet determined wrist I simultaneously stripped him of all ammunition. He didn't know what had hit him. As quickly as I had realized I was under siege, I had overcome the enemy and neutralized the situation. Unfortunately, we lost many brave googly eyes that afternoon, and as I sit here writing about it, the whole thing seems surreal.

After a quick debriefing we went right back to decorating our eggs. I thought that perhaps using foam shape stickers was a better idea for the rest of the afternoon. This would be entertaining and educational at the same time. We can practice shapes with the stickers and there is no way you can't get a sticker to stick to an egg. Ha! Once again, my children had proven me to be a moron. Eli demonstrated how by first sucking on the foam sticker for an extended period of time, you can render the adhesive useless and would have better luck getting a feather to perform a complex calculus integration than getting a sticker to remain on the egg. Ian took the opposite approach and focused his efforts on the eggs. I'm not totally sure, but I believe he was actually trying to suck all of the color out of his egg.

An artist at work

Short of twirling a fire baton while a chorus line of foam sticker covered eggs performed high kicks behind me, I tried every tactic I could think of to build this overwhelming excitement about putting stickers on the eggs. It did not work. It wasn't even acknowledged. I didn't even have any eggs to take "after" pictures of because none were decorated. I tried to comfort myself by thinking, "Undecorated eggs are just as much fun to hunt for as decorated eggs."

After what felt like 6 hours of "decorating" (I think it was actually closer to 30-45 minutes) I held up my white flag of surrender and went to make dinner. I so desperately wanted Saturday afternoon to be a scene right out of the movie "Pleasantville", that I forgot that my boys are YOUNG, very young. It wasn't a bad afternoon, it just wasn't what I had created in my mind. And while I may not have gotten my picture perfect Spring afternoon on April 9, 2011, there's always next year. :)

The Children's Discovery Museum - Bloomington, IL

Last weekend we went to Bloomington to the Children's Museum. Technically, the museum is in Normal, but I prefer saying Bloomington when referring to the twin cities much like I call the C-U, Champaign. I was pretty impressed with the place. It was very new and bright, not to mention buzzing with activity. We saw cute,little babies trying to find out about everything the museum had to offer while their proud, attentive parents followed closely behind, and we saw little bullies pushing Ian off of an exhibit as they snootily declared, "Stop! We were here first!", while their father never looked up from his texting and half-heartedly reprimanded the little terrors by mumbling, "Don't push." We basically saw all society had to offer, which is a learning experience in itself.

The museum is three stories so, naturally, we explored them all, with a certain degree of discontent occurring while climbing the stairs to find more excitement than the previous floor(s) had to offer. The first floor had the toddler area, which is intended for children 4 and under. This, however, did not stop some 11-ish hooligan from running around like a feral child as his mother admired what I'm sure she considers his "spunk" while toddlers and babies ran for cover. It was somewhat like a 21st century interpretation of "King Kong". I don't understand the appeal of a slide that is little more than the length of your own legs, but I also don't understand parents who find their text message to be important than teaching their children to share and be kind to others. I guess that maybe I am the weirdo. The first floor also had a large train area as well as several exhibits sponsored by area health care providers. There was also a grocery store where Ian tried to sample all of the plastic produce. Luckily, there was also a sanitation box for such items.

Ian and Mr. Bones learning about the complex skeletal system

The slide the way-too-old-kid "enjoyed"

The second floor was by far the most loved by our boys. Opening the door to the exhibit area must have been like St. Peter unlocking the pearly gates in Ian's eyes. I think I may have even heard a choir of angels singing, but that also could have been the little girl who was celebrating her birthday in a nearby party room opening a fabulous Barbie doll while her guests watched enviously. Hmmm... Anyway, I'm fairly certain it was just as magical for Eli. There was no other place in the world Eli would have rather been except for on my hip, but that's just Eli's everyday reality. The second floor had a Case I-H tractor as well as a combine. Both had large video monitors so the boys were able to bust their humps harvesting crops. This ain't no free ride, kids. If you're gonna eat, you're gonna work. There was also a "dairy farm" and soy bean processing area. The boys were living the farm life.

Processing Soy Beans

Farmer Eli - Checking his milk yields

The second floor also had this awesome exhibit with giant tubes with fast moving, high pressure air pumped through them that twisted and turned with different valve options so you could change the direction of the air flow. There were scarves and fluffy balls of yarn that you sent zooming through the maze of tubes and then they rocketed out of the tubes toward innocent bystanders. It was too cool. The only issue was the scarves moved so quickly and the boys' attention was so "anywhere but here" that it took about 127 scarves through the tubes before Ian finally dedicated two uninterrupted seconds of his attention to watching the scarf's journey start to finish. But....I'm not complaining. I want the boys to take it all in and be curious about everything they see, not just what we show them. Cole and I usually take a pretty hands-off approach to visiting places like this and encourage the boys to figure things out on their own, and they always do! Of course, they run us ragged in the process, but it's worth it.


The most dangerous part of the second floor was the giant chess board. Of course I want the boys to understand the ripple effect and how your decisions now will effect later decisions, but I don't want them to master strategy just yet. One stay-at-home-mom vs. two scheming toddlers......I don't stand a chance! But, we searched for Bobby Fisher anyway, and it was adorable. Ian and Eli played by "modified" rules, but the game still ended in Checkmate, or something like that.


The third floor was the "Fine Arts" floor. It was very cool. There were several music exhibits that explained everything from the music scale to the way guitars are strung. There was also a room where you could dance around and play any hand held, ridiculously loud instrument you could imagine while having your body outline projected onto a very psychedelic big screen a la Dee Lite, "Groove is in the Heart". We were basically "Anderson Airplane"; tour dates TBD. Ian, of course, could not be expected to enjoy this when there was a plexiglass enclosure where you could PAINT ON THE PLEXIGLASS WALLS and then SQUEEGEE it off while your lucky, non-supervising, parent simultaneously admired your artwork and remained untouched by paint. I was not prepared for paint supplies to be readily available and had, therefore, not dressed him accordingly. We gave it a go anyway, but even with the neck to ankles smock, he was on the verge of covering every square inch of his body with green paint, so we quickly went back to the music exhibits, and just extracted him from the paint room every 10 to 12 seconds for the remainder of the afternoon. Better.

Musical Hop Scotch

The third floor also had a really neat, kid-sized theater where kids could perform skits, songs, or dances for their families while other kids controlled the lighting and worked the ticket booth. You could also design a costume for a hand puppet, then put on a puppet show, and there was a room that contained scissors. I have no clue what was going on in the room with scissors; I just saw the gleaming silver of a safety blade and we immediately high tailed it in the opposite direction before Ian could be inexplicably drawn inside with no intention of leaving.

All in all we had another successful family outing, that culminated in an absolute tantrum in the gift shop when we pried Ian's 32 lb. body off of the plasma car floor model. Ah, life with the Andersons. I wouldn't change it for the world.