Favorite Sayings

Ian and Eli are such hilarious little boys.  They say so many funny things that just stop me in my tracks.  This is a running list of some of my favorite silly things that they have said.

*Ian: This baby has a lot of lights. - Referring to the truck he was building out of styrofoam packing materials

*Ian: I want to see you drive this thing! - Talking to me about my new stationary bike

*Ian: (holding a half eaten bagel) What number is it now, Mom?
  Me: I don't know.
  Ian: I'll give you a hint, it starts with an "l".
  Me: I still don't know.
  Ian: I'll give you another hint, try a chainsaw.
  Me: (completely confused) A chainsaw?
  Ian: Correct!

*Eli: How do you make holes in our walls?
  Me: You wouldn't want to make holes in the walls.
  Eli: Yes we do. Then we could climb through them.

*Ian: You are the morest, best Eli in the whole world!

*Me: Who spilled water on the floor?
  Ian: Me.
  Me: Well, get a towel and clean it up.
  Ian: (grumbling under his breath) I should have said Eli did it.

*Me to Cole: How about a p-i-z-z-a?
  Eli: I peed-i-a!

*On "Sword In The Stone" I saw a guy eating ice-cream off of a dinosaur bone. -Ian describing the scene when the older brother eats a bunch of turkey legs

*Ian: Dad, why did you puke when you went parasailing with mommy? Did you drink coffee?
  Cole: No, buddy, I had actually eaten pizza.
  Ian: Oh. Did your brain turn orange?

*Ian: Mom, why did that bird move? (question number 4,376 on our walk)
  Me: I don't know Ian. Ask Eli.
  Ian begins jabbering about something else
  Eli: Ask me, Ian!! (highly offended)
  Ian: Why did that bird move, Eli?
  Eli: I don't know.

*(With much enthusiasm and volume): YAY! It's over!! - Eli cheering at the end of mass on Palm Sunday

*It's just insane! - Ian's opinion of the amount of sunlight in his bedroom

*OH!!! OH!!! OH!!! IT'S LIKE A PUKE WATERFALL!!!!!!! - Ian freaking out when Eli got carsick on the way home for Easter

*Ian: Mom, the baby needs cheese.
  Me: The baby?
  Ian: Yeah, the baby.
  Me: Who's the baby?
  Ian: Baby Eli.
  Me: Oh, so you must be the daddy.
  Ian: No, I'm the muffin man.

*Eli: I want you a lay in my bed
  Me: No, Li-li. Your gibbies (blankets) are all clean and mommy is stinky.
  Eli: Did you poop? - Before-bed conversation after spending the entire day outside.

*Look! That spells 'work.' - Ian (while pointing at "Caterpillar" embroidered on Cole's shirt)

*Mom, look what I drew!  A black hole!! - Ian's space obsession continues to grow

*I am a man who wants to go to school. - Ian

*Ian: Did you play yoga last night?
  Me: Yes, we did.
  Ian: Why?
  Me: To exercise.  To help us get stronger.
  Ian: Did you do cat pose?

*Me: Eli, are you a wild boy?
  Eli: No, I a kitty boy!!! - No clue what this means

*And I puked when I ate a hot dog with Eli. - Ian remembering the time he ate a raw hot dog

*We should put a hole in our roof so we can see Mr. Moon inside our house. - Ian

*This for babies, mommy. - Eli rejecting the sippy cup I fixed for him

*When I go to see Fr. Martin on his stage (going to the altar for communion with me), he is going to say he is so proud of me for pooping on the potty. - Ian

*Our cheese is stinky. - Ian telling me why he didn't eat his entire lunch


*I am going to spray your school down with my squirt gun.  Then you can't learn anymore. - Ian expressing his disappointment over going to the park with just Cole

*Mom, look at my nose.  I know you are angry, however, you have to be sorry for hurting my feelings. - Ian's attempt at smoothing things over after throwing a fit instead of taking a rest.

*I crack myself up. - Ian after telling a joke

*Eli, you look like a puppet. - Ian to Eli during bath time

*You are a trophy.  Daddy is a trophy.  Eli is a trophy, and I am a potato. - I have no clue what this means

*I'm twirling your hair like a fork of spaghetti. - Ian's explanation for why I thought I was being scalped

*I hear that thing all the time. - Ian talking about the excavator that has been next door one day.

*Shake it off, Eli. - Ian's words of encouragement after Eli fell off the sidewalk and rolled down a small hill.

*Me: Has anyone seen my phone?
  Ian: It's by the pillows.
  Me: Which pillows?
  Ian: The ones by your phone.

*When I get big I'm going to go to work.  Not a big work, a little work, just my size. - Ian's future plans

*I was cranky to go to bed because it's hot in there! - Ian's answer to me asking, "Were you grouchy because you were hungry?"

*Eat a crayon, mommy! - Eli explaining the penny sized lump of green goo stuck in his front teeth

*Tootin' over there. - Eli telling me what he was doing in the corner

*You are as cuddly as cozy jimmies. - Ian to me

*I want tractor jimmies.  I already said that. - Ian responding to Cole's question of what jammies he wanted

*That little gibby was freaking me out. - Ian's thoughts on receiving blankets (gibby = blanket)

*Quiet is for girls! - Ian's brilliant excuse for being loud in the car

*Are you full yet? - Ian was concerned that I was getting too much of the shared doughnut


*Again?! - Ian's response to Cole telling him he was going to work

*Use words, Eli!  It's the rules. - Ian to Eli when Eli began whining in the car

*Hey!  Evan is good. - Ian's "defense" when being reprimanded for poor behavior

*No, no, no, no, no! - Eli when being teased that mom or dad was going to take a bite of his yogurt

*Aaaawww.  Daddy, did you drink all this?  It is my favorite! - Ian expressing his disappointment over the empty "Fahaiian" Punch bottle

*What I could I do? - Ian's common lament when things don't go his way

*I like it gibby. - Ian's way of saying he liked to be wrapped is his blanket a.k.a. "gibby"

*Mini Goofus! - Ian's way of saying "Merry Christmas" last year

*It's okay, little dude. - Ian to Eli when Eli wakes up from his nap in a bad mood

*Night night, budgy. - Eli telling Ian goodnight using our family nickname for the boys: budge

*Did I say that?  Did I say _____? - Ian's way of confirming that he said something funny

*Is your light wearing earrings? - Ian admiring the new chandelier in the master bedroom

*Don't come in here.  It's stinky, and I need privacy. - Ian kicking Cole out of the bathroom

*I have a goo boo nose. - Ian asking to have his "boogie nose" wiped

*We are putting our skin on. - Ian explaining the situation when he and Eli were caught with deodorant

*It's not a big deal, mom. - Ian trying to diffuse the situation when I found an entire box of Cheez-Its spilled on the kitchen floor

*You are just getting your hercut.  Have a Smartie. - Ian comforting me while "giving me a haircut"


*It's just a mystery. - Ian to Nina about Papa's whereabouts


*This is ridiculous. - Ian on anything that he doesn't care for


*Uncle Brad lost the bell.  That makes me so urritated. - Ian, after noisy bell vanished from Nina's house


*Am I peeing so fast?! - Ian


*Aw, you are so sweet! - Ian expressing gratitude


*Are we going to Champaign-Urbeana? - Ian confirming travel plans


*Can you hold my doubloons? - Ian asking me to hold his handful of change