Initially, I was not going to share this story on the blog. It wasn't even a consideration. I prefer to keep the blog pretty superficial. I like for it to be full of stories that are happy memories that aren't filled with really personal details. This story is very personal, and quite frankly, it's nobody's business except mine and my family's. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my story and my experience could actually be the encouragement or nudge other women might need to take preventative medicine seriously. We are so lucky to live in a time and a place where mammograms are available, and yet, there are still women who don't get them on a regular basis. So, if you've been reluctant to schedule an appointment to get squished or someone you love has been putting it off, please, please, please keep reading and share this story with anyone and everyone. It all comes down to the old adage: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."
At the end of September I began having regular chest pains in the left half of my chest. I couldn't really tell if the pain was internal or external. All I knew was it hurt! After about three weeks of pain, I went to the doctor. He asked all the normal questions; I gave all the answers I could. Ultimately, the doctor believed the pain was from inflammation where my ribs connect with the cartilage on my sternum. He guessed that it became inflamed from spending so many hours on my bike getting ready for the 43 mile bike ride I did at the end of September. He was pretty certain it was nothing cardiac related because I had just completed a 43 mile bike ride and someone with a weak heart probably wouldn't be able to do that. I was happy to have a diagnosis and left.
Well, things didn't get any better. In fact they just got worse. So on November 14th I went back to the doctor. This time I saw someone else because I felt like the pain was more in my left breast I wanted to see a woman. She gave me a breast exam and said she couldn't feel anything. This did not surprise me as I had just had my annual exam exactly one week before, and that doctor didn't feel anything either. However, she told me I have very dense breast tissue, and she couldn't feel all the way to my chest wall. She thought the best next step was to have a mammogram. This was a little surprising. Even though I thought the pain was in my breast, I thought she was going to say, "Oh, I think you pulled this muscle" or something like that. I had JUST had a breast exam a week before!
We started talking about the mammogram. The Nurse Practitioner told me she wanted me to have a bilateral diagnostic mammogram and sonogram, and I started getting really freaked out. She wanted me to go to Mills Breast Cancer Institute at Carle Clinic. She told me that most mammogram equipment would not read well through tissue as dense as mine. By having it done at Mills, my images would be read as soon as they were taken so I would be guaranteed to have good images before I left and wouldn't need to come back. My mind was going crazy. I really did not want to walk into a cancer clinic. Just the word is terrifying to me, and makes my mom's lowest-lows come to mind, which was a far-from-average cancer experience, but it's the only one that I'm familiar with.
A week later my parents came up for my appointment. At first I thought it was a complete overreaction, but then I thought, "What if it was Ian or Eli?" and knew I would have insisted on being there for them. I appreciate that they were there for the appointment and waited with Cole while I disappeared at Mills for two hours on December 4th.
I had my mammogram and went to wait for my sonogram. However, the mammography technician came and got me out of the waiting room. She told me she needed to redo the images of my right breast. Something was showing up in the image and the radiologist wasn't sure if there was actually something there or if I had moved. She did two more images and sent me back to the waiting room. This was very creepy to me because the pain I had been experiencing was on the left side of my chest, not the right. Again, I waited for my sonogram, but the mammography technician came and got me again. This time she told me that something was definitely showing up on the right and the radiologist wanted magnified images of the area. She did three more images and sent me back to the waiting room. I waited for my sonogram, and the mammography technician came and got me
again. This time the radiologist had requested images that would allow her to determine the depth of the "thing" in my right breast. She taped a little metal b.b. to my skin and did three more images. I went back to the waiting room and was finally called for my sonogram where everything went smoothly.
Now, I was under the impression that I would be leaving Mills with answers. That didn't happen. After two hours of imaging, I was told to go home and someone would call me with results that afternoon. I was totally freaked out by this point. I walked into the waiting room where Cole and my parents were sitting, took one look at them and totally lost it. They scooped up their belongings, and we all rushed away as fast as we could. I said, "They found something. I don't know what is going on. They said someone will call me later, but there is definitely
something in my right breast." We left. We went to lunch and then my parents came back to my house to wait for the results with me.
After five hours of waiting, I finally got a call from a nurse at Mills. She said, "I'm calling about your results, do you have time to talk?" I thought, "Well, this can't be good," and was kind of right.
The "thing" that showed up in my right breast was a calcium deposit. Calcium deposits are totally normal. By the time women are in their 80's, their breasts are full of them. However, my calcium deposit is forming in a very peculiar way. It is growing linearly, following a milk duct. This is not good. Generally speaking, when calcium deposits grow this way, it is an indication of cancer. Ductal Carcinoma, to be exact. That's pretty freaky...especially at 31 years old. The good news was there was no visible mass or tumor that would be cancer. So, there were three possibilities:
1) I'm a weirdo, and my calcium deposits grow in a freaky way but are totally normal.
2) This area could quite possibly develop cancer in the future.
3) There were already cancer or precancerous cells in my breast, but there were so few of them that they couldn't be seen by a mammogram yet.
In order to determine which of the three possibilities applied to me (hoping for it be #1), I was scheduled for a Stereo Biopsy on December 12th. My mom took me to my appointment while a very dear and caring friend watched the boys. I showed up for the biopsy scared to death, but feeling overwhelmed by how incredibly kind and supportive the very few people who knew I was dealing with this were and still are.
Before the biopsy began I had to have ANOTHER mammogram because the doctor wasn't sure if she would even be able to perform the biopsy due to the location and position of the calcium deposit. Then I got a big surprise...there were actually two calcium deposits.
Now, I'm going to make a VERY long discussion VERY short. Trust me, this was a much more involved, in-depth conversation than it will appear to be. Here goes...
The second deposit was most positively identified as being vascular. Think Arterial Sclerosis or hardening of the arteries. The original deposit was still there, but the surgeon deemed the biopsy to be too risky since it was in a highly vascular region. She was afraid that I would bleed more than they would be prepared to handle in the biopsy room and would most likely have excessive bleeding after I went home. However, given the presence of the "new" deposit, it's location and close proximity to the original, and the "new" deposit being deemed as vascular, there was a good chance (more than 50%) that the original deposit was, in fact, vascular as well. So after a
long discussion, the surgeon and I agreed to cancel the biopsy and move forward with mammograms every six months for the next two years.
So what does this all boil down to? Well, I don't really have an answer right now. I'm not sure what is going on in there. But the good news is, I know
something is going on in there and that's huge. I have the amazing luck of knowing that I have something that needs to be watched and monitored. The questionable area is so small and contained that if I go back in six months and things have changed, I'll have a simple surgery and be done with it. And I'm not scared anymore. I've had enough time to process the news that I'm not afraid of walking back into Mills Breast Cancer Institute because even if the worst case scenario plays out, I'll know that I took my health seriously and so did my doctors. And that will only continue.
I heard back in October that a mammogram can detect cancer TWO YEARS before you can feel a lump. My experience is such a testament to the importance of regular mammograms. I'd had two breast exams by two different doctors in the two weeks leading up to my mammogram and there was no way they could have felt such a small calcium deposit. Who knows how long it would be in there and growing before it could be felt.
My dear friend, who watched my boys and was a great support during the scariness of all these doctors appointments, has had her own cancer diagnosis and one night she said to me, "You might be the first of your friends to go through this, but you won't be the last." And that's so heart-breakingly true. I won't be the last. So, my most heartfelt wish is that everyone I know and everyone that they know and everyone that those people know will take early detection seriously and not take it for granted. Not everyone will be as lucky as me and find out so early that something, which could very well turn out to be nothing, is going on in their body. But, you'll never have the chance to be lucky if you don't take early detection seriously to begin with.
