I Want You to Know...

...about the time I didn't check WebCT before going to class.

My senior year of college I took a Marketing class with a man named Dr. Bruner. He looked like a total good ol' boy. Cowboy hats, crazy mustache, pearl snaps. But he was a really, really engaging professor, and I always enjoyed his class. I can't remember the course number, but that really doesn't matter. It was Marketing four-oh-something, and it was one of the last Marketing courses I needed to get my minor.

Monday, the very first day of class for the semester, Dr. Bruner stated that he expected us to utilize WebCT for ALL class communication. He said he only used class time for lectures. Announcements could be found online and don't waste time asking about them during lecture. Fair enough. This was a M/W/F class, by the way.

Now, with my class/work schedule I started every single Monday/Wednesday/Friday at 8:00 am in Quigley Hall for my first lecture. At 9:00 I went upstairs and worked as an undergraduate TA in the Textile Lab for two hours. I then had to beat feet across campus to make my 11:00 lecture with Dr. Bruner in Lawson Hall.

So, Wednesday morning rolls around, and I attend my 8 o'clock class, work two hours in the Textile Lab, and then I head over to Lawson Hall for Marketing four-oh-something. I didn't watch the clock very well during my work hours and am, therefore, running late for class. I dash into Lawson Hall, open the door to the lecture hall, and it is packed! To make matters worse, two TAs are handing out tests. Aaaaahhhhh!!!!! Who gives a test on the second day of class?!?!?!

While I'm silently berating myself for NOT CHECKING WEBCT, I start searching wildly for a seat. Like I said, this lecture hall is packed! Hundreds of people. I finally find a seat all the way down front, and all the way to the wall. So, I'm forced to climb over about 20 people to sit down, and they're all pretty irritated with me. But still not as irritated as I am with myself for not checking WebCT. And, as you can imagine, since I haven't even checked WebCT, I most certainly have not opened the text book yet!

I get my test and there are only two questions. Essay questions. Not even a 25% chance from multiple choice. The TA is rambling on about being sure to put your section number on your test, and I'm so freaked out that I can't even guess what our section number is. I ask the girl next to me, who I've just seriously roughed up with my backpack, our section number. She's kind enough to mutter, "Zero-three," and I scribble it down while thanking her for her help but avoiding eye contact. My attention then snaps back to the TA as she is explaining the test was designed to take only 40 minutes. That means 20 minutes for each essay. "Oh! Only forty minutes you say? So that gives me a whole ten extra minutes to figure this crap out. Thanks a lot," I think to myself. I am seriously trying to center myself at this point so I can fumble my way through the test.

After a few more calming breaths, I work up the courage to read the first question. As it has been eight years, I can't remember what exactly the test questions were, but I don't have a clue how to answer the first. It is like reading gibberish. I flip it over hoping that somehow, someway the answer to the first question will come while I read the second question. The second question is equally cryptic.

At this point I am utterly befuddled. How can I be in a fourth year Marketing class and have absolutely no idea how to begin answering these questions? I mean, really, I have NO idea where to begin piecing a semi-acceptable answer together. I flip back to the first question, and immediately abandon it again. Back to question two. Again. I read and read and read the question, and I finally get inspiration for an answer that might, just might, get 60% credit. 70% if mine's at the bottom of the pile and the TA is sick of grading.

I start writing frantically. I'm writing, writing, writing. "Oh, my gosh! It's already been 15 minutes and I'm only 3/4 of the way through this essay! I still have to write an answer for the first one! Aaaaahhhh!!!!!" runs through my head. I decide to flip the test back to question one (yes, I am fully aware that this is a horrendous way to take a test, but I'm FrEaKiNg OuT!), and I start reading question one again. This is when I notice a critical piece of information.

Now, I feel obligated entitled to explain that Lawson Hall is a circular building. The lecture halls are shaped like pie wedges, all nestled together snugly. There are really no distinguishing features of the building that can be used of landmarks. It's uniformity had to be some architects pride and joy. But, for a 22-year-old fashion student running late for class, the uniformity of Lawson Hall was not architectural genius; it was a big old hairy mole.

As I stare down at the test, after 15 minutes of answering essay question number two, I notice, printed in big, black, bold letters, ADVERTISING 104 emblazoned across the top  of the page. I am in the wrong lecture hall. And, now, I am taking a test for a class in which I am neither currently, nor previously, registered. And, I am missing the lecture for the class for which I am registered. I. Am. An. Idiot.

I can not believe what I have done. What a fool I am. How did I miss the fact that this isn't my class? Now, I have to get back out of here!

I gather up my test, climb over all 20 people, who, thank, god, I never have to see again since they aren't my classmates, and walk all the way up the aisle to the back of the lecture hall. As you can imagine, I'm the first out of my seat, and the TA collecting tests is beyond confused. I hand over the test and then whisper, "Um, yeah, you don't need to grade mine. Uh, I'm not actually in this class. I should be in the hall next door," and then dart out the door, but not before the TA has a chance to laugh in my face.

I walked into my actual class about 20 minutes late with a bright red face that day. Oops! But, I still learned a valuable lesson: always check WebCT before going to class. Had I done it Tuesday night, I would have known we did not have a test on Wednesday and would have saved myself a lot of ink by not trying to take Advertising 104's.

I Want You to Know...

...how to make the best Ginger Snap Cookies.

I absolutely loathe cooking, but if you catch me on the right day, I actually quite enjoy baking. Maybe it's because everything I bake is loaded with sugar, at least, that's my guess.  And to be quite honest, I'm not bad when it comes to baking. With the exception of chocolate chip cookies, pretty much everything I bake is delicious. My specialty, however, is Ginger Snap cookies, and you boys should know how to make them.

I adapted this recipe from one I found online. The original recipe also called for cloves. I omitted those because anytime I taste clove, I throw up, but that's a story for another day. The most important thing to remember when making these cookies is to take them out of the oven as soon as the egg is cooked and let them finish cooking on the sheet out of the oven. This way you will have "snappy" edges, but soft middles. These are perfect winter cookies....or spring cookies or summer cookies or fall cookies. Yum, yum, yum!

• 1 cup packed brown sugar
   3/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1/4 cup molasses
• 1 egg
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking soda

  
  Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees
  
  
  2. In a large bowl, mix brown sugar, oil, molasses, and egg. Combine flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and ginger; stir in molasses mixture.
  
  
  3. Roll dough into 1 1/4 inch balls, and roll in white sugar before placing 2 inches apart on greased cookie sheets.
  
  
  4. Bake 10-12 minutes in preheated oven, or until center is firm.
  
  
  5. Cool on wire rack
  
  
  
  

• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/3 cup white sugar for decoration

I Want You to Know...

...that I didn't put my life on hold for you.

I hear that a lot from stay-at-home-moms. I used to say it myself: "My plans are on hold for now." But, as the time has passed, I have realized that the concept of "putting my life on hold" could not possibly be more incorrect. Let's rewind to November of 2007, shall we?

In November of 2007, your dad and I had decided that our lives were at a point where I could quit working and go back to school full time beginning in January 2008. I had already mapped out a class schedule, and was planning to register for classes mid-December. Well, the universe has a funny way of laughing in our faces when we carefully craft plans for the future. Instead of choosing classes during December, I was choosing an obstetrician. That's right; Ian was in the oven! To quote Clark Griswold, "I couldn't have been more surprised if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet."

I waited until the Fall 2008 semester to take a couple of classes (and just so you know....Dumbest. Idea. Ever.), and accepted the fact that I was now going to be a part-time student and MOTHER instead of a full-time student. It was very difficult to find the time to do everything I was committed to doing and make sure I was doing it all well. And over the next three years, the struggle to find balance continued. Finally, in January 2012 I threw up my hands and said, "Enough!" It was too much. Too much for me. Too much for your dad. Too much for you boys. Too much for all of us. My (second) college education needed to wait until it was the right time for our family. My life was really "on hold."

For a year now, all of my efforts, all of my energy, have been poured into our family. Into being a stay-at-home-mom. Into being a wife. Into being our "family manager." Into being more focused, more available, more engaged. And in this time, I've come to realize that my life was never "on hold." Not for one single nanosecond. My life had changed the very instant Ian took his first breath and so had my priorities. I realized my life had been in full swing for over three years. More so than it had ever been. I was exponentially happier than I had ever been in the past....if you could mathematically measure happiness, that is. It just took me a while to see these facts clearly.

My life was never on hold because I was busy being a mother and not a full-time student. If anything, my life had been on hold because I was busy trying to be a part-time student and not a full-time wife and mother. When I'm soaking in smiles, kissing boo-boos, tickling chubby legs, singing to tired ears, rocking with a full lap of children, teddy bears, and books, threatening to take toys to the basement, cleaning spilled oatmeal off the table, cleaning every single textile in Ian's room because it's been doused with baby oil...my life is moving right along as it should be. When I was hiding away at the library for hours upon hours to prepare for my next Organic Chemistry test, missing bed time snuggles and family dinners...that's when my life was on hold. Giving up my ideal schedule for the future freed me to fully experience the present in all its messy glory, and it was the most amazing opportunity I have ever had the privilege to stumble into.

You only get one childhood, which means I only get one shot at being a stay-at-home-mom to sweet little chums. My life is not "on hold" during this period of time. For all I know, this could be the very season of my existence that my life is the fullest. I don't regret a single day of my tenure as stay-at-home-mom. Maybe my future isn't going to play out quite like I thought it would, but so what. My present is sheer perfection, and that's all I care about right now.

Mom

A Letter to My Children

Dear Ian and Eli,

You have brought more meaning to my life than I ever could have dreamed possible. You are my love. You are my happiness. Nothing comes close to owning my heart the way the two of you do. I hope for the happiest, most incredibly fulfilling lives for the two of you. I hope you live life on your terms and know that I don't just give you permission to dream big, it's something I expect you to do. To help you realize what I want for you and your lives, here are some guidelines in no particular order:

I hope that you are the most honest person that has ever graced the planet. Nobody, and I do mean NOBODY, likes a liar. There's a 100% chance that at some point you are going to screw up, and I'm going to be mad. If you are honest with me, I'll still be ticked, but I will respect your honesty and you will still be trustworthy in my eyes. No amount of punishment is worth avoiding if it means losing the respect and trust of others.

I hope you never stop learning and never become complacent with what you know. I want you to have a burning desire to understand more every single day you open your eyes. Consider this: Dark energy makes up over 70% of the universe. Scientists don't know what it really is. If 70% of our known universe still doesn't have an explanation, there is plenty to learn in this life of yours. Still don't believe me? Walk into any university's reference library, and then tell me you don't have anything left to learn.

I hope that you find the value of experiences far, far, far outweighs the value of stuff. Stuff is just stuff. It won't make you happy. It does not define who you are. Ultimately, it means nothing. Having nice things isn't bad, but becoming materialistic is. You don't need a big new house, shiny new car, or every single electronic device to have a full life. Focusing on attaining these things will make you lose sight of what you do need to have a full life. You need places to roam, people to meet, oceans to swim in, mountains to climb, stars to gaze upon, birds to watch, friendships to nurture, food to taste, music to hear, books to read. The list goes on and on and on and...

I hope that when you are an adult and decide it's time to spread your wings you don't just teeter over to the edge of the nest and then fall off the side or even worse, retreat to the basement. (I'm telling you now this is a major no-no.) Fly out of the nest. Better yet, soar. And whether you choose to make your home right next door to your dad and I or somewhere like Timbuktu, know that we support you. We might not like our limited face-to-face time with you, but we also know that you only get once chance at life and there will be a LOT to squeeze into that short period of time. You can't waste your time pleasing us, you have to live your life for you.

I hope you realize that you, and only you, are responsible for your happiness. If something isn't working in your life, change it. If you are waiting for someone else to come along and make you happy you are wasting your time and you are putting an unnecessary burden on someone else. Take yourself to a movie if you really want to see it. Make a reservation for one at that restaurant you are dying to try. Sign up for that bookshelf building class because it's something you are interested in learning. Doing things by yourself is a great way to figure out what your passions are and what makes you truly happy.

I hope you travel to the ends of the earth. I want your passport to be so thick and full of stamps that you have to check it with your luggage because it won't fit in the overhead compartment. I hope you see the way dozens upon dozens of cultures live. I hope you adopt some customs for your own life and realize that others are best observed and not experienced personally. I hope that during your travels you gain a greater appreciation for your own life, and take the time to help better someone else's. I hope you make lasting friendships on every continent to which you travel, and I hope you lose a piece of your heart to every land in which you step foot.

I hope you find the courage to try things that scare the ever living hell out of you. Like the time your dad and I free-fell from 40 feet in the air and then swung out over a ravine on Maui. I thought I was surely going to die of a heart attack, or at the very least, pee my pants. Obviously, I didn't die, and I swear I did not pee my pants. Now, I can honestly say that I never need to do it again. The key word here is "again." I'm not looking back and saying, "I wish I would have..."

I hope that when you sit down for drinks on the first date with your future wife, and she says, "So, tell me something I don't know about you," that your mind is so full of memories and experiences that you won't have a clue where to start and words just come tumbling out of your mouth in a jumbled mess. And when the two of you decide you can't live without each other, I hope there is still a lifetime's worth of wonderful things to uncover about one another.

I hope that you come to realize the most beautiful sound on the planet is the sound of your newborn baby's cries and, later, your children's laughter. And if you decide that kids aren't in the plans for you, hopefully your dog's barking is like music to your ears instead of incredibly annoying like Prissy's. But, remember, I would really like a shot at being a Nana. :-)

I hope that you know that I don't care if you cure cancer, AIDS, diabetes, and the common cold or scatter puke sawdust at hockey games as long as you take pride in your work and do it with passion and integrity. Don't choose a career because of the money or prestige or because it just sounds good. Choose a career because it makes you wake up sad on Saturday morning because you don't get to clock in for another 48 hours. You are going to spend a LARGE portion of your adult life working. Do what you love, love what you do.

I hope you never live your life according to a rigorous plan. I've tried it; it doesn't work. Stay in the sun until you get a sunburn, play in the snow until you're numb to your elbows and knees, swim until you're so prune-y people think you must be a shar pei. Allow yourself to become so completely and utterly consumed with what you are doing that hours pass in the blink of an eye. And when the time finally does come to call it quits, don't lament about all of the things you should have been doing because, honestly, if it was that important you would have taken care of it first.

I hope you never let someone limit your potential. You are amazing people who are capable of so much. Remember that it isn't always a matter of natural talent or inherent intelligence. Most often in life it comes down to who is going to work the hardest. If you make it a point to have an exceptional work ethic, confidence in yourself, and unending perseverance, nobody will be able to stop you from getting to where you want to be. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it.

I hope you remember that the love I have for you is unconditional. Whether you are on top of the world or at your lowest-low, you can always count on me to love you no matter what. Believe me, I wouldn't have taken injections that burned like fire in my belly every single day of my pregnancy from five weeks gestation until 6 weeks postpartum if I didn't love you with all my heart, Ian. And, I damn sure wouldn't have done it a second time if I didn't love you just as much, Eli. And just so we're clear, I will throw this little factoid in your faces as a major guilt trip when you act like punks during the tween and teen years. :-)

This list definitely doesn't hold all of my hopes for you. There are so many that I could never write them all in one letter or even one hundred letters. But, I do hope that you see a theme to what I want for your life. I don't want you to wake up on your 100th birthday and think, "Wow. I've existed for a long time." I want you to wake up and say, "Wow. I've lived for a long time." And, yes, my dears, there is a HUGE difference.

My eternal love,

Mom

My Knitting Heart

I am so lucky to have joined a Mom's Group about a year and a half ago. I am being totally sincere when I say joining the group changed my life. Until then I didn't know anyone in town and felt very lonely and isolated and completely stressed out raising two little chums with no help within 100 miles. Since joining the group, I've made wonderful friends and created a network within town that keeps me feeling so happy and no longer alone. It was such an amazing blessing in not only my life, but, indirectly, the boys' and Cole's lives, too.

One of my favorite things about my group is all of the different talents the moms have. I'm not entirely confident that I bring any talent to the group, but I feel no guilt in benefiting from everyone else's. It's kind of a one-sided relationship, but I don't think they mind too much. :) I mean, I bring fruit when it's my Thursday to bring fruit.

Anyway, back in November one of members who is an amazingly talented knitter taught the group how to knit. I had learned to knit six or seven years ago in order to meet the requirement of giving a handmade gift to one of my sisters for Christmas, but didn't keep up with it for very long. However...now that I've got my needles out  again, I. Am. Loving. It. I am also becoming much more confident in my ability to follow a pattern and learning new techniques. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a total novice, but I like to think of myself as an "Advanced Beginner" now.

Since November I have knitted three scarves, five pairs of leg warmers, and one and a half sweaters. Yes, half. Cole's sweater is still on the needles.

I've made five pairs of these leg warmers, and let me tell you, there is nothing cuter on a little girl's legs than sparkly leg warmers. This pair went to one of my nieces. I've made them in pink, too....also super cute!

This pattern came from Charm Stitch.

I made this scarf for my nephew. In case you have no idea what is going on here, it's a LEGO brick scarf. Excuse the junk on the table. It was right before Christmas, and to say I was scrambling to finish everything is beyond an understatement.

I bought the pattern for this scarf from the author of this blog.

Something I didn't see coming was asking Santa to knit two of these dragon scarves, only to realize they scared the hell out of the chums. Um, that REALLY stunk considering the time it took Santa to knit these things. We're talking hours upon hours. Oops!

This is a really bad picture because I forgot to rotate it. It's giving me vertigo just looking at it. Yikes!

I have more projects in the works and will post pictures once they are complete or have been given to the intended recipient. I can't wait to finish everything currently in the works and get started on the boys' Easter sweaters!

Why 2012 Rocked!

I have been MIA around here for a couple of months. Our camera broke, I lost all motivation to document our lives, we replaced our camera, and I remained lazy. But, I'm back to it (hopefully). So here's a rundown of why 2012 was, in VH1 speak, "The Best Year Ever!"

January
: : Hmmmm......I'm sure something cool happened in January, but nothing is springing to mind right now.

February
: : Eli potty trained!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing else in February even comes close to matching the excitement from this accomplishment. Maybe I can't remember January because this thrilled me so much.

March
: : Cole got a promotion! I was so, so proud. :)

April
: : The boys started Little Sages Preschool. They LOVED it, and I had a full HOUR by myself four days a week for six weeks. Cue the choir of heavenly hosts.

May
: : Cancun, baby! We took our first international family vacation. In all honesty, about 30% of the vacation (that being mainly travel time) sucked. I mean, It. Was. Awful. Flights that were way too long, standing in immigration for hours, extremely turbulent flights and a landing that had me hovering over an airsick bag while praying we didn't all die. But, now that it is just a memory, I have chosen to block out the bad, like the mediocre air conditioning in our room, and focus on the good, like Eli and I snuggled on a chair on a white sand beach while he napped the afternoon away and Cole chasing all of our sand toys and shoes down the beach in an attempt to save them from a rogue wave that washed WAY too far up the shore while our children screamed like they were on fire. Ok, if they were old enough to remember this particular event they would be in therapy for years, but to me it was absolutely hilarious.

June
: : Ian started swimming lessons! He adored them. We spent SO much time in the pool this summer. It was fantastic.
: : Cole turned 28!

July
: : On the 4th we spent the day at the Indianapolis Children's Museum. We closed the place. We then came back to C-U, saw Brave at the theater, and watched the fireworks after. The "movie on the 4th" is becoming a little bit of a tradition with us. Cole isn't into traditions, but I am. I think this one is quite fun for us.

August
: : Ian turned four! How is that possible?
: : Cole and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary! How is that possible?
: : Ian started school. Wow! That was a total mind blow. He loves it and has matured so much in the last few months.

September
: : Cole began RCIA. This is so exciting to me because I'm glad our family will be one religion, but much more importantly this is exciting because it is what Cole wants. This was his decision not mine.
: : We bought Cole a new-to-us car. It isn't exactly a luxury car, but we were able to PAY CASH, and that was a real thrill for us!!!!

October
: : I turned 30. At first I was dreading this, but my MIL said something along the lines of 30 should be great because I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful boys, my mom is healthy, we have a cute little house where we have created so many wonderful memories, etc, etc, etc. She was so right! I have everything I've ever dreamed of, so why shouldn't this be the beginning of the best decade yet?

November
: : Cole and I went with our friends to see Jim Gaffigan in Indianapolis. We laughed SOOOOOOO hard. It was an absolute blast. So, so, so much fun.
: : I attended my first parent-teach conference. Talk about weird. As I was driving to it, all I could think was, "How am I possibly old enough to be doing this?!"
: : We went to Chattanooga to see friends for a long weekend. The boys adored this trip, and I must say, it was about as wonderful as a family vacation could ever be. We had fabulous hosts (thank you Henson Family), went to wonderful attractions, and took the boys to a Japanese hibachi for the first time. The hibachi was, possibly, traumatic for the chums, but the adults had a blast.

December
: : Eli turned three! And, at the risk of sounding like a total rip, I must add.....it was about time! Not that I want my kids to hurry up and get older, but Eli has talked and acted like a three-year-old for a very long time, so it didn't seem fair to have to call him a two-year-old. Now his intellect and verbal communication match his age. It just makes more sense.
: : Cole taped training videos for work. I watched one and it was crazy to think that people at work, who don't know Cole, will be watching these and listening to his lectures. But, hands off, Ladies of Caterpillar! I snagged that Senior Engineer when he was just a Freshman in college, and I'm not giving him up! :-)
: : I organized/hosted a Holiday Home Tour for my Mom's Group. It was pretty stressful leading up to that night. I was opening my home to a group of people for critique. I was SO glad when the tour of our home was over. The night was an amazing success, everyone loved it, and I already have one volunteer to host next year. Now I just need three more!
: : For the first time since we got married we woke up in our own home on Christmas morning!!!! It was fantastic. We have the most insane holiday schedules (we drove two hours and then went to SIX different houses on Christmas day in less than 10 hours) so waking up in our own home, with just the four of us, was our only time of peace and privacy that we had all day long. It was weird not being with family on Christmas Eve, but I was reassured that we were making the right decision for us by listening to Father Lopez's sermon two weeks in a row when he stressed the importance of finding "calm in the commotion" during the Christmas season. The few hours we had as just a family were the only moments of true "calm" during that day. The rest of the day was still wonderful being with family, but there was nothing calm about it.

And this is why 2012 rocked!

Check Your Manuals!!!

I don't consider myself to be a super paranoid, overprotective mother, but when it comes to car seats, Cole and I have always been very diligent in our efforts to keep our boys safe in the car. We bought Cole a new car back in September, and before that he only had the truck. Whenever someone was in charge of the boys, that person drove the Monte Carlo. Recently we've had a few occasions an extra set of seats would be handy. So, about a week ago I bought a set of boosters for the boys: a high-back for Eli and simple seat for Ian.

For a few days we let Ian use the booster while we cleaned and re-installed the regular five point harness seat. Neither Cole nor I was at ease with the situation, but we went with it. The booster just worried the bejeezus out of me. The seats were purchased with the understanding that they would be utilized on the very, very rare occasion that Cole was called into action unexpectedly and not as our everyday restraints.

Well, last night I finally had both of our regular seats all spiffed up and ready to go back into the car. As I was reassembling the brown car seat, I happened (thankfully) to glance down and see that Ian had, in fact, reached the weight limit for the five point harness. I panicked! I don't know why, but I had it in my head that you could use that seat, with the harness, until 80 pounds. Not at all. The harness is only usable until 40 pounds, but then you take it all apart, and two hours and many, many naughty words later, you have a booster to use until your child reaches 80 pounds. I couldn't believe that I had misremembered this safety guideline.

Then I really started to freak out because after four or five days of using the booster, I had decided there was just NO way I wanted to continue using it on a regular basis yet. Ian meets ALL of the criteria for using a booster...

*4 years old
*40 pounds (He's 40 pounds on the dot)
*43 inches tall

...but I still just feel like he is too exposed to danger in the booster. Yes, the five point harness is a hassle, but it doesn't bother me that much. I just can not bring myself to let him graduate to the booster seat. I feel like I'm not keeping him safe enough. (Maybe I am a super paranoid, overprotective mother. Hmmmm....)

I dashed out to the garage and pulled out the owner's manual of the gray seat, and I was relieved to see that the weight limit for using the five point harness in the gray seat is 50 pounds. That means we'll probably get another two years of use out of the gray seat. Yes, I will still drive Ian around in a harness when he is six, and I will do the same for Eli.

The whole point is...it is SO easy to forget the details of what you bought four years ago. If you haven't done so recently, check your manuals! It takes three seconds. You might be surprised by what you see.