Hearts at Home

Today I attended the Hearts at Home National Conference. I had never been before, and didn't know much about it. To be honest, the main reason I registered was because Michelle Duggar was the keynote speaker. AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I love the Duggars. I think they are such a sweet seeming family. Anyway, I had the most wonderful day, and I came home feeling refreshed, energized, and ready to implement some wonderful things I had learned today.

First of all, the Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar were the cutest! They shared their relationship history, most of which I've heard watching the show. But there were still some funny and sweet new details that were fun to hear.

My first workshop was "Practical Parenting Tips" with the Duggars! I was SO excited for this one. I kind of thought, "If there is anyone who can share ideas that work, it has to be someone who's done it NINETEEN times!" I was not disappointed. Michelle offered some VERY helpful hints that I tried with Ian as I rocked him for bed time. Here are some of my favorites, and please note, these are NOT my ideas. They are from Michelle Duggar, and they are paraphrased.

1. Don't have expectations. - Expectations and goals are two very different things. Expectations are not fair. An expectation is something that is internalized and not expressed. If your child doesn't meet your expectations you should not say a word because it just isn't fair. How is your child supposed to know how they are supposed to behave if you don't tell them first? Goals are fair. A goal is discussed and understood by all parties, and a plan is formulated in order to attain the goal.

2. The three most important character qualities are, in this order, attentiveness, obedience, and self-control. - All of these qualities are qualities you must train your children to have, and you must train your child in order.
*Attentiveness - Teach your child how to look into your eyes when talking/being talked to. If you aren't making eye contact, your toddler is NOT listening. They might hear you, but they aren't listening to you.
*Obedience - Teach obedience as a game. Look your child in the eyes, hold their attention, and in a very sing-song voice, say "Ian." Teach them to respond with, "Yes, mommy," in the same sing-song voice. With the sing-song voice, it seems like a game to your child. (I did this with Ian tonight as we were rocking for bedtime and he LOVED it) Cheer your kids on, and practice, practice, practice until you can stand around the corner and still get the same prompt response. Once your child has mastered this exchange, add the next step by singing, "Ian, come here please." And then teach them to sing back, "Yes, mommy. I'm coming," and then come to you immediately. Practice in the same room initially, and then move around the corner, and then allow them to play with toys while practicing. Practice over and over every single day until it becomes second nature.
*Self-control - This can only come about after your child has become obedient to your commands.

3. You can choose how to react when you're angry. - Michelle quoted this verse: A gentle word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger: Proverbs 15:1 This is something that Cole and I have figured out the hard way. Whenever we have allowed our tempers to get the best of us, it does NOTHING but make the situation much, much, much worse.....like fuel on the fire. I rarely raise my voice because I am well aware of this. But if you use your most kind and gentle voice in times of frustration, you will effectively diffuse the situation and everyone will get back on track more quickly and with less risk of unnecessarily hurt feelings.

4. Always discipline your children privately. - You don't want your kids to feel embarrassed by administering discipline in front of their siblings. Always deal with problems privately, and if an apology is in order, it should be done privately as well.

5. "You are what you eat" applies to your mind as well. - If you fill your mind with offensive song lyrics, violent video games, and distasteful TV shows, your thoughts are not going to be positive and that will effect your behavior as well.

6. Have sex all the time. - Ok, that isn't exactly what they said, but they definitely stressed the importance of an intimate relationship between a husband and wife. They actually, very tastefully, had a really, really good sense of humor about sex. I was kind of surprised. But they were very matter of fact about the importance of this aspect of marriage. As Jim Bob said, "Your husbands are going to be so glad you came to our workshop."

These were the highlights of the Duggars' workshop. I definitely got some great ideas, and a lot of inspiration to draw from. When I feel at my wit's end, I have to remember, I am SO lucky to have healthy boys who are capable of being rambunctious. I need to be happy they have an overwhelming curiosity about life. And I need to be grateful that tomorrow is another day, and if I make a mistake that's ok.

I'll write about the other workshops later, but tonight I'm just too darn tired.

Montessori? Yes, please!

I'm sure I'm making a zillion mistakes in the terminology in this post, but this is all quite new to me so I'm going to be learning right along with Ian as the school year progresses.

Yesterday was quite surreal. I toured a preschool. Yes, Ian is ready for preschool. I can't quite believe it myself, but it is very true. We have FIVE preschools in town to choose from. Is it just me or does that seem excessive for a town of our size? Well, whatever.

The school I toured yesterday was a Montessori house. I knew NOTHING about Maria Montessori, or her method, until I started digging up information on the local preschools several months ago. And let me tell ya, I was in LOVE with her after a very, very short time.

This was the first time I had ever been in a Montessori house (they are called houses not schools), and it was wonderful. Montessori houses are very serene and very organized and orderly. The colors are muted and almost every single item within the house is made of natural materials: wood, glass, metals, etc. While I had no idea until I started reading some wonderful articles loaned to me by the school's director, everything within the house is placed very deliberately according to Montessori's own research and all Montessori houses, no matter where you go,will have the same arrangement and placement of materials. Block towers are placed away from work spaces so the children must carry one block at a time to their work space. It makes the children become very aware of the size, shape, and weight of each individual block. All of the shelves are precisely organized within each "subject" of learning. The very concrete concepts are on the top shelves, while the most abstract concepts are nestled among the bottom shelves. The shelves line the walls, and the contents of the shelves naturally flow, one into the other....physics, astronomy, natural sciences, mathematics. Reading, cultures, arts. It's an amazing sight to see.

There are no chalkboards/whiteboards, no desks, and a great deal of "naked" wall space. The children perform their work on little white rugs placed on the floor. They are given the choice to work alone, with a friend, or in a small group, whichever scenario is appropriate for the lesson and mood. There is no set schedule. Montessori believed that with children in this age range, the children are compelled to learn a subject when they are truly ready and there is no benefit in trying to force a child to learn to read if the child has not felt the urge from within to learn to read. Only when the child is truly ready, will the efforts to read be successful. Anyone who has ever tried to engage a child in an activity the child had NO interest in can relate to this whole-heartedly.

The part of the lessons that I most adore, and I do mean adore, is that the children are allowed to move at their own pace. If someone is truly absorbed in their work, they are allowed to work and work and work until they feel satisfied. They are never rushed along before they are done with their lesson.

I also adore the independence they are teaching the children. The children do things you wouldn't believe. There is no snack time. The children are expected to listen to their bodies, and when they are hungry they are responsible for preparing their own snack and cleaning up after themselves. Children as young as three are taught to slice bananas and prepare sandwiches. Five and six year olds are taught to make pancakes and fry eggs. Four year olds learn to iron! Yes, with a real iron (on a low setting). It's all about teaching independence and responsibility. How to take pride in your work and develop self-worth. Self-worth, not self-esteem. The children are also responsible for taking care of all of the class pets.

There is SO much more to all of this. It sounds kind of hippie-dippie, I know. But it was such an incredible environment, and the Montessori Method is around 100 years old. It isn't some New Wave creation. I am SO excited about the prospect of a Montessori education for the boys. I am going back for a day of observation after spring break. I just can't wait to see everyone in action.

And.......Rolling

Today was a big, big, BIG day for the boys. Today they each received their first sets of wheels. I know it probably seems like Ian is kind of old for just now getting a bike, but we've never had a good place for him to ride it (our driveway has a significant slope). With the lack of appropriate riding space and the fact that it is VERY difficult to supervise the littlest Andersons by oneself, the bike was just something that unfortunately had to be put on hold for Ian.

This week, however, Cole decided that it was a purchase he was ready to make. The boys have grown up so much over the winter months, and I agreed that we were finally ready. So today, Cole came home from work, and happily presented the boys with their first bikes.

I can not explain how ecstatic Ian was.

Checking everything out on his new Jeep bike

 

Budge on his new Radio Flyer trike

 

Safety first! No helmet, no wheels.

Ian was ready to ride! (We spent several hours outside again today, hence the dirty face)

We decided to load the bikes up and head over to the local grade school. It was so amazing. Eli had a little bit of a difficult time learning how to position his feet on the pedals, but it didn't take long at all for him to be off and running, or riding.

Cole helped Ian with his bike. It took all of three seconds before Ian was tearing across the asphalt. I desperately wanted to go over and help/cheer Ian along, but I just didn't feel like it was my place. It was Cole's experience to share with him, not mine. I have gotten the chance to experience 95% of all of the firsts and excitement with the boys. When it came to the bike, I just felt like that was a moment meant for a little boy and his dad. So, I sat on the swings with Eli, who was in need of a little break, and watched as my eyes welled up and tears streamed down my cheeks. Maybe it seems like a silly thing to cry about, but I couldn't help it and didn't really care to. The day Ian was born my dad said to me, "If you think time passes by quickly now, you won't believe how it flies by once you have children." And to say he was right, is an understatement.

Ian to Cole: "I am so happy you brought these bikes home!!!"

Tonight was my night to rock with Ian, and he could NOT stopping hugging me and thanking me and telling me how happy he was to have his very own bike. I was sure to tell him that it was all his dad's doing and that he should be thankful to daddy.

Ian boy is growing up! And at an alarming rate. It was precious to see how his very own bike has filled him to the brim with joy. I hope that he is always so grateful and happy. But, if he could quit growing up so darn quickly, that would be even better.

This Is What Men Do. This Is What Men Do!

Today. Was. AWESOME! It was so nice to finally be able to get out of the house, without being assaulted by 40 mile per hour wind gusts, and just let the boys run all of their energy out. We left for a walk at 11:30 this morning. My plan was to walk to Anytown's bike path and then let the boys get out of the stroller and walk as far as they could. Once they were tuckered out, I would load them back into the stroller and take them home. Well.....things didn't go quite like that. We ended up playing for TWO HOURS at the gazebo along the bike path, and when I finally convinced the boys to get back in the stroller and come home, their compliance was based on the understanding that we would come home and play out in the yard. So, that's what we did. 

They got pretty filthy playing around the freshly finished gazebo, so when we returned home we had snack time on the gigantic rock in our backyard. I have no idea why or how this rock got in the yard, but it works as a great seat when mom someone is too lazy to bring the kiddie picnic table up from the basement.

These popsicles are Del Monte Fruit Chillers and they are BEYOND incredible!!! Buy some; you will not be disappointed. And they are only one Weight Watcher point.

Seriously, how did this rock ever get into the yard?

Ian wasn't going to waste a single drop.

This was at 4:30.....five hours into our seven hour outdoor adventure.

There was a time when I did not handle dirt well. At all. Ever. But, I now love to see a little boy covered from head to toe in dirt and muck. Dirt washes, and little boys need to dig and roll around in the dirt. It's good for them. I would take a boy in ruined clothes with mud caked in his hair from playing outside over a clean little boy who only wanted to be inside and watch TV any day of the week. When I took Ian inside to bathe him, I stood him in the sink and let him see his reflection in the mirror. He thought the mess was fantastic and started chanting, "This is what men do. This is what men do!"

Today was just such a wonderful day. I know that someday I won't be able to remember the details of today, but I wish they were something I could never forget. I sat, silently, and watched the boys play in perfect harmony. There was never a discussion of the game being played. The boys just knew the game, and it just naturally evolved without a single argument or problem. I was never consulted, never asked to help or join in, and never needed to intervene. It was surreal to feel as though I was invisible to them. They didn't need me today because their imaginations provided all of the guidance they needed to play together. A part of me was sad that I wasn't needed the way I was needed last summer, but mostly my heart was just full of joy to be able to sit and watch how far we've come since last year. It's days like today that make me most grateful to be a stay-at-home-mom.

Space Notes

Ian's love of space is still going strong with no sign of waning any time soon. He has learned SO much in the past few months. It really amazes me that he has learned, what I consider to be, very advanced material for such a young age. Here are some space facts courtesy of my little Ian Boy, who will be four in August.

*Saturn's rings are made of ice.

*Uranus and Neptune are made of methane.

*A comet is made of ice and snow. When it gets close to the sun it melts and gets a tail.

*The volcano on Mars is named Olympus Mons.

*The Sun is made of hydrogen and helium.

*Earth is special because it has water.

*Jupiter's great red spot is full of storms.

*A nebula is where stars are born.

*A constellation is a collection of stars.

*The International Space Station is where they do experiments.

*Venus is called the "Evening Star."

*Pluto is a dwarf planet.

*The gas giants are: Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and Uranus.

*Solar flares are gas explosions.

I find this to be so impressive. He has found something that holds his interest more than any other topic so far. He LOVES his "reference books" about space. It was a bit of an adjustment to start reading nonfiction bedtime stories, but it's been a few months now so it isn't as weird. We are going to a family observatory night at the end of the month, and I think he will be in heaven viewing the heavens.

More "New" Toys & Shocking News

WARNING: Shocking news at the end!!! (Don't worry; it's not bad.)

Once again, am I touting the benefits of Simplicity Parenting. Today Ian specifically requested his "doctor toys." I thought he meant the little Fisher Price doctor set that belonged to me when I was a toddler that he played with at my parents' house. No, no. He was referring to a set of rescue vehicles he received from Grandma K-leen and Grandpa Marc for Christmas. I made him clean up the mess he had made with his trains and building blocks in order to earn, for lack of a better word, his privilege to trade toys. He happily obliged, and now Ian and Eli are completely immersed in imaginative play as they take their rescue vehicles on their maiden voyages. (As I've said before, Cole and I phase in new toys very slowly)

Getting everything set up for a game of rescue vehicles

Ian checking everything out

The boys are in HEAVEN!!! They are absolutely in love with their set of rescue vehicles and all of the little accessories that can be stored within each vehicle. I am so, so, so thrilled to see them completely engaged and immersed in their creative play. They are truly appreciating the wonderful gift from Grandma and Grandpa the way a new toy should be appreciated and cherished. Grandma and Grandpa, your gift is a smashing success.

And now for the great big shocking surprise. I colored my hair bright pink, and I do mean BRIGHT pink! Not all of it mind you, but enough to really shock the pants off of anyone who has been in a room with me for more than seven minutes. I'm smitten with it!

Cute LIttle Faces

Practicing Letters

Cutie, cutie, cutie

Eli is a bully. I really can't explain what is going on here because I just happened upon this fiasco......yet had time to go grab the camera.