The beautiful thing about young children is they are full of surprises. You never know what will come out of their mouths. Sometimes they have great things to say like, "You're my best!" and other days they say things that aren't so great like, "Get away from me!" Today was a day where the words coming out of Ian's mouth were not the words I wanted to hear.
As we were driving home from school Eli said that he wanted to listen to The Polar Express when we got home. (Our book came with an audiobook!) Ian immediately replied, "Santa isn't real." I was shocked. I asked him, "Is that what they say in The Polar Express or is that what you say?" I knew the answer before I even asked the question, but I still wanted to hear for sure.
Ian replied, "That's what I say. Santa isn't real." Of course, Eli, the King of Li-Li Land, immediately yelled, "Yes he is, Ian!"
I'm sure Ian was prepared for this, because he instantly started defending his declaration. "No he isn't. He couldn't carry all those presents. They would all fall out."
Parenting Ian has been a crazy experience. He is more firmly rooted in reality than most adults. There is no fantasy in Ian's life. He has no patience for fantasy, and no room for it in his heart. He LOVES to pretend, don't get me wrong. But all of his pretend revolves around true life experiences. Everyday he is a variety of tradesmen. He fixes the microwave, the wall, the light, the refrigerator, the car. He digs holes, cuts down trees, pours cement, builds factories and machines. He takes the lawn clippings to the yard-waste dump. All things that must be done in real life. He's also very analytical. I don't know where he gets it. ;-) (Sidenote, Cole's work group: Statistical Tolerance Analysis. I love these Anderson boys and their minds!) At our parent-teacher conference Ian's teacher even told me, "The thoughts that come out of his mouth are not the thoughts of a four-year-old. They are MUCH more mature and insightful." Considering Ian knows volumes more about space than the vast majority of adults, this didn't really surprise me, but when all you are familiar with is your own child's mind....you begin to think that it's normal for 4-year-old children to not only know what a nebula is, but to have a favorite one. (It's the Eagle Nebula, in case you were wondering)
I was so excited for Christmas this year because I was looking forward to experiencing the magic of the season through the eyes of children. Early in the month, to set the mood, I let the boys watch the movie, "The Polar Express". While watching the movie Ian blurted out, "Reindeer can't fly. This isn't real." I didn't know how to respond, so I just didn't. Later in the month we let the boys watch "The Santa Claus." This movie bothered Ian as well. He said to Cole, "Why would Santa go down a chimney? That doesn't make sense." Cole gave him typical parent answers: magic, he just does, etc. None of these made Ian feel better. He just said, "It doesn't make sense. He could catch on fire. Why wouldn't he just go through the door? It doesn't make sense."
A few nights later Cole and I had a serious discussion about how to address this. You could absolutely tell, just by seeing Ian's face, that the concept of Santa was not at all fun or magical. To Ian, the entire concept was quite clearly a burden. A serious burden to his little mind. So we came to a place where we just said, "What do we do?"
We decided to keep doing what we were already doing. We barely spoke a word about Santa the entire season because as soon as the first tree went up, it was as if our children had been raised by wolves. We stayed the course. We didn't mention Santa. We didn't visit Santa. We didn't write letters to Santa. We simply went day to day and avoided Santa talk within the walls of our home. I thought that we were in the clear. Then came Christmas Eve....
When I tucked Ian in that night, he said to me, "I don't think Santa flies a sleigh."
"You don't?" I responded.
"No," he said. "All of the presents would fall out. They couldn't stay in there."
I babbled something about magic and left him to fall asleep.
Christmas morning was wonderful. The boys loved their gifts and were so excited to have some new toys in the house. I thought that Ian's concerns about Santa were a distant memory. As we were packing up to leave for the next few days, Ian pointed to his new Trio Blocks castle and said, "I didn't know Santa could make this kind of building blocks. I think he bought this for me at the store."
I was not going to straight up lie to his face, so I said, "I think you are right. I think Santa knew that you liked these blocks, but couldn't make them himself, so he bought them at the store."
On the way to Flora Cole said, "I think we have one more year of "Santa." Tops." At the time I thought, "Hopefully, I can get two more years out of this," but we were both wrong. Ian's belief in Santa is over.
I've been waiting for this statement since the beginning of December. I could tell Ian sensed something fishy from the night we watched "The Polar Express." As the season progressed, I could tell that he was steadily growing more suspicious of Santa. Today he finally said what I knew had been coming for weeks and weeks.
What do I do now? How do I proceed? Well, until he brings it up again, I'm just going to let it simmer. And until he directly asks me, "Is Santa real?" I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. I'll let him discuss it with himself and form his own opinions. When he's ready to talk about it with me, I'll be honest with him. I'll let him know what's what. I've never lied to the boys, and I don't plan on beginning in order to keep a story going. A story that, no matter how potentially magical, currently has a place in our holiday season much more for my benefit than for theirs. Until that day comes, I'm just going to let Ian's brilliant mind figure out exactly what it is he believes because that is true magic.
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