New Year's Resolutions

I have NEVER made a New Year's resolution. I just don't get into New Year's. To me it is just another day, and I really don't understand the excitement other people have for the holiday, but to each, his own. I'm sure a lot of people can't understand why Valentine's Day is my second favorite holiday. On a scale from 1-100, 1 being the worst and 100 being the best, Christmas is a 100 and Valentine's Day is a 99.3. I just LOVE it! But, anyway, this year I'm making some resolutions that are sure to be valuable.

1. Read a book on my Book Club's list...don't just show up at the meeting.

My mom's group co-director has a burning passion for reading. This year she decided to put together a book club. I read the June book and the July book. Since then...uh, yeah...not a lot of reading going on. HOWEVER, I still attend the meetings. Basically, I participate (I am using that word very loosely) for the company. I don't try to trick anyone. Everyone knows I just show up, but I WILL read the January book. It might be the only one I read for 2014, but that's okay. Apparently, I don't like reading as much as I thought I did.

2. Continue my silent protest against songs that boss me around.

I love to dance, and that is why I LOVE wedding receptions. How often do you get to go somewhere and dance 4-5 hours straight?! After all of your friends get married, like never. A few years ago we were invited to 20 weddings in an 18 month span and attended almost every single one. It was a great run. I got to bust out all of my dance moves for hours at a time, and I was always in heaven. Until...songs with directions started blaring over the sound system. Talk about a buzz kill. I loathe songs that tell me what to do. I don't want to stomp my left foot twice or slide to the right. What kind of dancing is that? Crappy dancing, that's what kind. When I hit the dance floor, I'm about 99% sure that I look like a Lakers Girl under the creative direction of one, Paula Abdul. I basically black out and my muscles take over. If I feel like swinging my arms in large circles, I go for it. If I feel like shaking my head back and forth until I'm motion sick, I pop some Dramamine and shake it. If I want to gyrate all over like someone dropped a jar of spiders down my back, I gyrate until I'm on the verge of pulling a hammy. My point is, these moves can't be tamed, and I don't like some DJ and a bunch of people clogging up the dance floor interfering with my need to express myself through the art of dance. So, I will continue to sit down and look very surly when these ridiculous songs are played until they exist no more. Of course, these dance breaks can be psychologically dangerous for me as I often find myself wondering as I re-hydrate if, in reality, I look more like the Caddyshack Gopher than a Lakers Girl on the dance floor. But, I'm pretty sure these unfounded, delirious thoughts that creep into my head are just due to my elevated body temperatures from doing wide, lunging jumps while pumping my arms like I'm running.

3. Take my paper crafting to the next level.

Levels. I remember the first time I talked about taking something to the next level. We were in the homewares department at Macy's, and I found some giant cookie cutters. I held them up and yelled across the department to Cole, "I have to get these. They would really take my cooking to the next level." Cole gave me the strangest look and said, "Making pancakes...in different shapes...is what you consider taking it to the next level?" Initially, I was hurt. But, I eventually saw his point and agreed that maybe, just perhaps, my "levels" were spaced a little too close together.

This is going to be different! Every year, I spend approximately 16 hours, that equates to nearly 2.65 minutes a day, paper crafting. Yowza. This ain't no joke, people. 2.65 minutes A DAY! Anyway, after many, many, many holidays of asking, this year for Christmas Cole bought me...

A Silhouette Portrait cutting machine!!!

This was a totally rockin' Christmas gift! I spent, ahem, eight hours yesterday playing with it. The boys thought I was working, as in, doing things for my part-time job, since I was focused for so long. Not my finest mom-day. I had grandiose plans for putting all of my hard work together today, but it snowed and it's 15 degrees and I just don't feel like going to Champaign for supplies. By one o'clock I might not be able to suppress my creative urges anymore and load us all up in the car anyway. I can't wait to reveal the finished product. Oooooh, the suspense is killing me and I haven't even started it yet! Just know that this time when I say I'm taking my paper crafting to the "next level," I'm talking Cameron Tucker from Modern Family style.

Observe:

Cameron: Our adoption attorney told us it would be a good idea to make a photo-book to show prospective moms.
Mitchell: But he thought that Cam's version was a little to artsy, so we’ve decided to take a few rugged shots at the ranch to balance it out.
Cameron: I don’t think it needs balancing out.
Mitchell: Really?
Cameron: It’s called production value.

If all goes well, I can see my daily paper crafting average going from 2.65 minutes to, gosh, maybe 6 or 7 minutes. The boys' party invites should be totally out-of-this world fantastic (even more so that usual), and who knows what other creations of paper filled goodness I'll come up with. You might just see me on a Vistaprint commercial this time next year talking up the 2500 business cards I ordered to promote my paper company: "Crop till you Drop." Who knows? WHO. Knows?

4. Realize my physical limits.

This sounds like a weird one, but last year I spent a lot of time aching because of stupid stuff I did while trying to impress the males of this family. Like the time I tried to show the boys how to run and jump onto a sled belly first. That was a dumb idea. Not only did the sled move little more than two inches, the boys weren't impressed and for days my back felt like I'd fallen from the top of a four-story building. Mom=FAIL.

Then there was the day that I decided I would REALLY impress the boys by running through the house, essentially kicking open the screen door and landing in the yard where the boys were waiting for me. Yeah, well, this time the boys weren't even looking and when I landed something popped in my foot causing me to collapse to the ground and scream in pain. For weeks, literally WEEKS, it hurt to walk, wear shoes, look at my foot, etc. It was such a stupid idea that seemed so incredibly epic in my mind. Mom=FAIL.

And just last week I decided to test my athletic prowess (quit laughing) by jumping and touching the dining room ceiling. Cole missed my amazing display of athleticism and wanted to see me do it again, and since I was feeling like such a bad ass, I agreed. This time, however, when I landed I twisted my knee (the good one, not the one that sounds like crunching gravel while I walk) and was fairly certain I was going to need crutches for the next week. Wife=FAIL.

5. Blog more.

I remember when I first brought Ian home from the hospital. At that point I was just absolutely positive that I would keep detailed records of every single day of his life. Then I realized that I had more to take care of every day than just my baby. I had a home and husband and dog and MYSELF to take care of every day. I eventually started blogging when Eli was 16 months old, and it has been a great way to document the little and big moments of our lives. It also helps to keep our family connected to all of the people we love but don't get to see very often. Recently, I haven't been keeping up with the blog like I wish I would have. So, I hope to get back to blogging on a semi-regular basis. I love writing so it doesn't feel like a chore, but it seems that I always have other things that take priority over the blog. Hopefully, there is someone who enjoys reading this silly little corner of the internet that will hold me accountable. Time will tell.