Oh. My. Gosh. Life has been exciting in Anytown!! And, trust me, the Andersons have been in the thick of it. Not too long ago, I was searching online to see if the minutes from the latest city council meeting (don't even get me started about that) had been published anywhere. While digging for the desired information, I happened to stumble across news. BIG news. Big, BIG, news. The Oscar Mayer Weinermobile was going to be at County Market on Kirby and Duncan in Champaign the very next day!!!! I was insanely excited. Not to brag, but I've toured the Weinermobile before. I was in fourth or fifth grade, got to walk through it, and got a weinie whistle which is still available to play with at my parents' house. I couldn't wait to take the boys to see it, too. I showed them pictures online and got them super pumped up. Well, it just so happened that the next day I had to be in Champaign at 9:00 to take Prissy to the groomer. This was going to be awesome.
I immediately called Cole. He answered and words just started pouring out of my mouth in this ridiculous squealy voice that I get when I'm excited and can't stop smiling like the Cheshire Cat. Cole did not care. I repeat, Cole did not care. What was his problem? I finally snapped, "Why aren't you excited about this?!" To which he responded, "The better question is, why the hell are you so excited?" Well, really, what kind of question is that? I'm excited because I'm going to see a gigantic, driveable hot dog. Duh! Now, for someone who claims to love "my youthful spirit" he sure was being a punk. I hung up the phone with Mr. Fuddy-Duddy and went right back to searching online for unique food cars. I already knew about the Hershey Kiss truck, but I also stumbled across the Pepperidge Farm Goldfish truck, and the Mr. Peanut Peanut truck. This might become my life's obsession....seeking out food trucks. I haven't decided yet.
The more and more I thought about the Weinermobile, the more excited I got. My excitement level was about an 8. That's saying something for me, because my 5 is probably like a normal person's 8. I hit 10 once. It happened a little over six years ago, and I was lucky my head didn't just explode.
In May 2006 Cole surprised me with a trip to Chicago to be in the audience for a taping of Late Night with Conan O'Brien. It was amazing! It was truly 40 degrees outside, and we stood in the rain (we got free ponchos from some radio station), under the 'L' for four hours before we were let into the auditorium. They went through the normal audience warm up, and then gave about five minutes so people could scream out their favorite Chicago baseball team and suburb. Not kidding. Apparently, earlier in the week people were wasting serious air-time by screaming out "SCHAAAAUUUUMBURG" or "BUFFALO GROVE" whenever they felt like it. I don't get it either, but I'm just a country bumpkin so whatever.
Finally, the time came for Conan to take the stage. I could barely contain myself. I wasn't quite a screaming Beatles girl, but I was damn close. I was jumping up and down and clapping my hands over my head and......crying. Yes, I started to cry I was so excited. I would say that it was possibly just my eyes finally thawing after a miserable morning in the elements, but everyone knows that at 40 degrees Fahrenheit that would be impossible at standard atmospheric pressure. So anyway, there I was, crying and jaw quivering while I watched Conan do the String Dance and La Bamba dress up like the Empire Carpet guy, and then it came time for Conan to drive the desk! Of course I knew what was going to happen....Andy was in the audience...somewhere. But that didn't stop me from standing and flailing and screaming in an attempt to get Conan to pick me! I'm pretty sure the only control I still had over my body at this point was not wetting my pants. Conan ran out in the audience and up the aisle. He kept getting closer and closer and closer and closer. I was freaking out. All of the sudden, he stopped. He was right at the end of the row right in front of us. Only then did I realize that Andy was sitting in the row directly in front of ours, and while Cole and I were in seats three and four, Andy was in seat two. He was right there and so was Conan! It was unbelievable. I was absolutely reeling. The rest of the show wasn't as much fun, but it was still so incredibly awesome. Senator Barack Obama, (remember him?) was the guest and Wilco was the musical act. I adored every bit of that day...except for the part when I walked into a revolving door frame and busted my eyebrow wide open. I was bleeding like crazy and the jerks at Chipotle wouldn't let me use the restroom to clean myself up because I wasn't a paying customer. A-holes. We ended up walking a couple of miles back to the hotel while I whimpered with blood all over the right side of my forehead and in my hair because the wind was out of control. People kept giving Cole the nastiest looks. I had a shiner in the morning.
So, Thursday morning we dropped Priss off at the groomer, and Jake the Snake and I went to see the Weinermobile. Oh my gosh, I was excited! I think Eli was excited, too, but I'm not sure. I told him to quit talking so he wouldn't ruin the moment for me <---I AM TOTALLY KIDDING!!!!! Eli was excited, too, and was free to say whatever he wanted. We dashed over to the Weinermobile to get a picture. Eli thought it was just the funniest thing he'd ever seen. He giggled and giggled. The "Hot Doggers" (that's what they call the people on the promotional team) thought he was adorable, naturally, and he got his whistle and a sticker. We walked around the Weinermobile, and I held him up to look in the windows. You couldn't go inside, which I thought was totally bogus, but I'm kind of over it now. Kind of.
I called Cole again after we were done. I was still trying to add some excitement to his life. I told him they were giving out free hot dogs, excuse me, weiners from 11:00-1:00. He still didn't want to see the Weinermobile and then had the nerve to tell me that receiving four phone calls about the Weinermobile was somewhat excessive and more or less (definitely more than less) "don't call me about this again." At this point I just had to accept the fact that some people do not understand how to enjoy the little things, and if Cole was as wack-a-doodle-doo as me our family would be in big trouble or, at the very least, on reality TV. Yikes.
Blowing the whistle. It's just as ear piercing as you would imagine.
I don't really understand the hot dog inside a hot dog, but I might be over analyzing here.
Ketchup and Mustard upholstery
Ian had school until 12:30 that day, so even though we had already been to Champaign and back, we went again so he could see the Weinermobile. I'm not going to deny my child the privilege of seeing an amazing piece of American manufacturing just because I'd already made the 35 minute round trip once. Ian was excited about this! He had even dressed himself in his hot dog shirt that morning in anticipation of going to see the Weinermobile. That's my boy!
He was giggly when we pulled into the parking lot, too. We rushed the giant weiner again, and this time we had to stand in line. While we were waiting, one of the Hot Doggers saw Ian's shirt and she LOVED it! She couldn't get over how cute he looked and how cute it was that he chose this for himself. I could tell right away that this girl had her head on straight. She sent another Hot Dogger to get extra goodies out of the "trunk" since Ian was obviously a weiner enthusiast. (The Hot Doggers were very sweet girls.) We finally got up for a picture, and it was awesome! We hung out in the parking lot for a while and just admired the Weinermobile. We had to soak it all in while we could. I like to think that I just fulfilled a crucial childhood experience for the boys. They loved it! Now, I just have to find out where that blasted Goldfish is going to be next!
Probably going to be the Christmas card picture. I may or may not use Paint to add Cole...it will depend on whether or not he regrets his attitude towards the Weinermobile.
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